LDR has it's own unique kind of boredom. It's not that there's nothing you could be doing - it's just there's only one thing you want to be doing - closeing the distance - and if you can't be working on that likely you'll find yourself doing nothing and feeling bored, which leads to lonely and depressed.
Or at least that's how it's working for me right now.
I tried to work out, but didn't really get anywhere. I try to read but I can't focus. I managed to clean up a bit, but now that's done. I'm just frusterated because nothing is making my days pass quicker. I got all my paperwork in order for my interview which isn't for a couple more days. Have to borrow some clothes off Bec, or perhaps buy some tomorrow. I don't own interview clothes - every time I've done an interview I've borrowed some off someone else. It might be nice to just have some
So now I'm working on my little book of love. And by working I mean it's next to me, and I can't focus on anything long enough to see if it's worth adding. I wanted to copy out (or print) one of the blogs I wrote before he proposed to me, but I went back and read it - and it talks about our plans of having kids, and as this book will also double as my guestbook I can't risk putting that stuff in there because everyone are supposed to believe that our kids aren't planned.
Which relates to something else that's heavily on my mind today - I need to see a doctor. I've had problems with my gearbox for over a year now - painful sex, bleeding, and the like, and now I'm back in a country where I have medical I need to go get it looked into. I'm a bit scared though. I hate doctors. (not the people themselves obviously) but I can't keep lying to myself and pretending nothing is wrong down there. I've ignored it for so long, but it isn't going away. I'm planning on doing this tomorrow, there's a clinic around the corner. I'm due for the scrape too. Every woman hates getting the scrape
I guess I'll go work on this book. I know I should also go book chairs for the wedding ceremony too. Wonder how late I can leave that... and making the ceremony, I'm putting off contacting the celebrant in the hopes Obi and I can do that stuff together. Things will get better. I'll get a job, then I can buy the remaining things we need. And he'll get a visa, and I wont feel so lost all the time.
Everything gets better.
