Yesterday we agreed Obi will quit his shitty cash in hand job today. They don't give weekends off, and that includes Fridays, and with his parent's decending he's like "I'm not going to want to work on the house while people are visiting" and I swear my eye twitched, because seriously, this work might have been done right now if he didn't f-up his visa timing (I'm not still sore, but it's true) and I don't actually care what he wants with this situation. He will have access to everything I get from that house, thus he's damn well going to earn it. I said it nicer tho
Besides that, the longer it sits there doing nothing the more money my sister has to pour into bills and thus the more money I owe her. I'm upwards of 20 grand in debt to her so I'm not willing to stuff around.

I'm like "you don't have time for everything" and we know his work wont give him time off for the wedding and honeymoon, so what's two weeks? Fuck it.

Now I'm praying hard that once the dust settles he will get another job. I'm a bit scared to be honest, but I need to have faith.

The in laws land tomorrow. Then the boys on the wednesday after, Amanda on the 30th and the Grannies... I can't remember. Soon though, it's all happening now.

But what's on my mind is the wisdom of being in Australia. I am so happy here. Every time I get down, I go for a walk, pat the paperbarks and breathe in the eucaliptus (sp) and everything is ok again. And we need to be here for the house. But what about when the house is gone?

My sister seems to have changed. I mean she was always bossy and firey, but this stuff with the house and Ma and me being in Canada when she needed me has made her bitter (rightfully so, I guess, but still). She's a lot harder to be around these days, and she's taken a grudge against Obi and his family (Obi for standing up to her in the car, and all the little things leading up to that) and his sister and dad for slights against her. She's just so angry, and whilst she tells me every day she's the least judgemental person she knows, I feel heavily judged by her all the time.

I'm seriously considering, once the house is sold, moving down to Melbourne for a while, nearer to my half sister. I want this woman and her kids in my life. But I'm afraid of slighting Bec. If we did move down there, we wouldn't tell her we'd had it planned. Same as when I start poping children the first wil need to be an "accident" and even then, I'll get an earful about being too young and I should buy property first.

I don't know... I mean Obi's family are a pain in the arse, but they'd never think to punish us, or threaten us if they didn't get their way. This woman who I've always idolised, who's always been the centre of my world... I get sick of dancing around her jabs at Obi or me, I get sick of hearing how much luckier than her I am, and how bad our mother treated her and just everything. And no, there is no talking to her about it. I don't need to be homeless right now.

I hate making her sound like a bad person, she isn't, by far. But... I don't know. If she's going to hold a grudge against me for the time I wasn't here and ruin the time I am here? Where's the sense in that? I feel like I'm losing my best friend. I've apologised for not being here, and I work hard to make that up to her. I can't change the past.

Will being here in Oz damage Obi's family relationships the way it has mine?