... We practiced hard and in secret for our first dance. While we were in Canada, we were cleaning the parent's church once a week, and then after we would hook up my laptop and practice dancing, teaching ourselves from videos on youtube. It was lovely, and you couldnt see my mistakes because you couldn't see my feet. My bridesman who is in advanced dancing classes told me we looked like we'd had private lessons, so that was nice. We danced to Sarah Brightman's Only an ocean away.

After that the wedding party got up, or most of them, and Obi and I started dancing with random guests. His dad pretty much carried me through the whole dance, once he realised I didn't give a rat's about my dress. Oh Lordy, my dress. I loved my dress. and I'm so glad I only paid $200 inc shipping. I had so much freedom! Like, I stepped on part of it during the ceremony and heard it rip... so when I had a chance, I took a pair of sizzors and cut the dangly bit off because it was hanging out the bottom and tripping me. My sister in law was horrified, but it was nice to not have to care (and it was so poofy you couldnt tell). Dad was like "I dont want to step on it!" I was like "step away, I'm oly wearing it once" so we went off
My sisters, Chris, Obi and the best man also did a circle dance to "crocodlie rock" which basically consisted of swinging each other around, lifting our skirts and making crocodile jaws with our arms.
All the girls I grew up with, and some brave others, got up and did the nutbush - can you believe how exhausting doing that in a ball gown is? But man we had fun!
If any of you have been at the pub with an Australian when the Angle's song "am I ever gonna see your face again?" comes on, you can imagine a circle of us girls on the dance floor (Including my American friend Silviar who used to be a member here!). We shouted along and made rude gestures.
I also had quite a few dances with my bridesman, while Obi danced with his sister to make her feel better.

For the garter toss, I was uncomfortable with sitting on a chair while Obi burrowed under my skirts. I don't know why... I just... no. Haha. So to take the focus off a bit we had all his groomsmen, his groomswoman and my bridesman lift him fully, guiding him like an aeroplane to pull off the garter with his teeth. It was funny. Then he tossed it and Chris (who's desperate to marry Bec) made a flying leap to catch it. When he did, he wore it on his forehead for the rest of the night. Now it's pinned to the "wall of fame" at home.

It was over too fast. Obi and I spoke about paying the DJ to stay another hour, but people had already started leaving. People who had to work, who traveled or didn't dance... so we decided not to. Later Bec and Chris were like "man it was over too fast!" and my Aunt was like "I want to do it all again next week!"


The guest made an arch, and we held hands and ran through it, out into the lobby. It was over... or nearly.

When we got to our room we remembered that we had my bridesman's clothes. He needed to change and leave his suit with us to return, because he wouldn't have a chance the following day (and we already had 30 chairs, a tux and a bus to take care of, so whatever!) so I sent him a text and Obi went downstairs to get him because you need a room keycard to make the lift run.

When Obi went down, some of the guests saw him. He waved his arms around and said "I am not here, you do not see me!", then beckoned to my bridesman to get in the lift. Hahaha oh there were comments!
Of course, our suite was massive, with a huge private balcony, a glass walk-in robe, etc etc, so we showed him around before he changed and we kicked him out. He felt bad for intruding, but I didn't mind at all. He was with us for like 45 minutes... and my sisters saw him come down! Now people joke we started out our marriage with a threesome!

We didn't. Just for the record.

An interesting side note on wedding sex is going here, so if you're young or just don't want to know, skip the italics.

Obi and I abstained for a month before the wedding (which was hot leading up to the night!) because so many people have said to me if you're not a virgin that night, it's just another night of sex. We didn't want it to be just another night. Well, with all the stuff with the sister in law, I wasn't in the mood, I was sad mostly, and troubled about what it meant for our future, and how he didn't defend me as I saw that he should.... And during that month off, I'd unknowingly developed another cyst. So it was difficult to follow through, and very painful besides. If I'd been a virgin? Maybe I'd have waited another day. Or maybe that magical first time would have been a huge disapointment... Most likely the later. So I'm happy we didn't wait.

When it comes to sex, I strongly believe you can't plan for to be special (maybe for one partner but not both). You can't decide "this night will be the best/ most emotionally charged sex of our lives." and that it's probably best to enjoy those wonderful surprise frolics that felt way better than logic says they should. All acts of love and pleasure are sacred to the goddess, not just the one on your wedding night.

Thinking of the Goddess, a side note about the ceremony:
It was Wiccan. Very obviously wiccan. We cast a circle. We were blessed by the elements. We were handfasted. We charged our wedding bands with power. We had a reading from the pagan God telling people how best to live upon the earth. We prayed to the God and Goddess openly...

And nobody caused a problem. Nobody took offense (we have some very strict Christians and Catholics in our families), tried to pray for our souls, left the ceremony or caused a fuss. They all still came forward and told us the ceremony was beautiful, well-written and moving. The moral of this is - you can have what you want and be who you are, and people will accept that... assuming they are good people anyhow!
I'm so glad that I followed through and had the ceremony I wanted.. The kind of wedding we both needed to feel married.

Sometimes I still forget that it's over, we don't have to worry about it any more. That we are married and handfasted. But I wear my rings every day and they remind me of the vows I spoke, and that of all the things I need to worry about in my future, losing him is not one of them. <3

Thank you for reading! I'll put some photos in my album in the next few days for the people who aren't facebook stalking me