Nothing I can do about it right now though, the printer is out of ink. Though, I could make didgital copies. Save the trees. Hmm. Not today Miriam, not today.
What I actually came here to blog about is this:
1) I'm still stupidly happy and
2) I'm getting impatient.
The house is going so well. It's also a pain in my arse. My work are giving me more and more weekend shifts (and it's hard to turn them down because of the penalty rates!) which means I need to go to the country during the week to do my share on the house. Obi works now, Mon-Fri, so he can't come with me. It's a lot of travel, and while I have so far avoided needing to sleep apart from him, I know that it is the smartest option for time management and financially.
Thinking of money, Bec is finally letting me pay for shit for the house, and some of my suggestions are actually being heard. It's nice. Sometimes I think they forget that I own half that house
Not that I'm ungreatful for anything they have done, but I might have liked more of a say in what happens to it. But soon it will be done. And that will be great!
Obi has work! That is also great. I'm always so scared with his job. VFX pays well, but it's so unstable. They never have unions. You could be fired tomorrow. I don't know what benifits he has, I don't believe there are any. Certainly no sick leave, paternity leave, or any of that. When they hired him it was for 6-8 weeks of work only; but he was also told the company is hiring a lot of people for perminent places, so we're hoping he could take one of those if they like his work after 6 weeks. Either way, that's still around two more months we're living here with Bec and I'm very over it... but if we sign a lease and then he doesn't keep the job? The risk is far too great.
My work is looking up. Another person left two days ago, which means better job security and hours for me. I'm not supposed to be working though. Two years ago, Obi promised he would support me while I got my book off the ground, or while I went back to school (both of which I'm longing to do), but it fell through in 2011 because he had long periods of unemployment and we had a wedding and an international move to save for. And it's not an option for us now either. So I work as a checkout chick (averaging 15 - 20 hours a week right now), I have a small journalism gig, I'm finishing a novel (so close....), there seems to be a lot going on, and the progress is satisfying.... but I'm dying to start studying and move the hell out.
There was a special on st Vals, the course I want was half price for three days... but he didn't have employment yet, so I couldn't take it. He got the job like a day after the special ended. So I'm waiting for the next one I guess...
The other day he asked me when I'm going to ask my boss to go full-time. I'm like "uh, never. I have no intention of working full time. I'm supposed to be studying." He has is career. Which I'm mad jealous over. It's my turn. Or at least it's supposed to be.
People tell me about this thing called "baby brain". I'm not sure if I believe them, but if my intelligence is obliterated by pregnancy hormones (I'm not preg, btw) do I want to be studying? Or editiing book two? How am I supposed to fit all the pieces of my life together before I'm friken 30?
So yeah, getting frusterated and impatient!
Married life is good, however. It agrees with us both. We realised we were getting slack with each other again, and I'm doing my best to hold my end of the stick a bit higher. I know I've been a bit short with him lately. And although I catch myself and apologise, that doesn't stop it from happening. He frusterates me so much! But I think that's partly due to feeling as though I live under a microscope. I've been slack on the loving and caring, both in and out of the bedroom - but I've started putting a better effort in there too. And now I remember why it's all worth the effort. Sometimes I get so bogged down in the practical I forget that the emotional area of our lives also must be nurtured.
I want to do nice things for him. I remember now how happy I feel when his face lights up, when I've done something for him that no one else would even think of...
I'm happy. We cuddled in the car - two and a half hours to the country, and again coming back. We cuddled and held hands the whole time, like kids. I love looking over when he's doing some job and seeing that band on his finger. I love the desperate I-wont-see-you-for-a-whole-10-hours hugs we exchange before he leaves for work. *little sigh*
Alright, enough ramble!