On the visa front, I got my documents certified today... I hope we covered all of them. We needed a certified copy of our marriage certificate, and proof of ID, Address and Australian Citizenship.. oh shit.
*Ten minutes later*
Where was I?
Right, so to sponsor someone to move to Australia you need:
* Cert copy of marriage certificate (if applying on basis of marriage)
* Cert copy of all travel documents - ie: Passports. Made sure to get one in my married name to help prove we're "in a genuine ongoing relationship"
* Cert copy of proof of Australian citizenship. (Birth Certificate) No your passport is not enough, you need to prove who your parents were. Even though to get your passport you had to prove at least one of them were Aussie.
And what I forgot (but thankfully blogging helped me remember in time was):
* Certified copy of change of name certificate.
I also got a CC of my driver's license. I don't think I need it. But I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
Of course, to get all these things certified, you need a Justice of the Peace (JP) and there's one in the center I work at, but he's only there 2 days a week, for two hours. The next time he's there and I'm not at work is a fortnight away and we need to have lodged this visa by then.
So, assuming Obi didn't miss anything when he got his documents done, all the hard parts are covered. Now we're waiting on our Stat Decs from friends (the worst part of all!! It's so hard to get them done right.) and we already have two that are useless to us. We have one coming from Canada that his dad did - but you can only provide a stat dec from out of the country if you're living outside of Oz when applying and it needs to be on a different form. And one from an American mate of mine who's living in Australia, and the form is right, but she doesn't have PR or citizenship, so her word is useless to me. Gah! Bec's doing one again, what a champion. She had to do three for the last application before we got it right, but she's still willing to help. And the guy who was my bridesman is supposed to be doing one as well, but I'm expecting to be let down.
Other than that, I've got payslips to say I'm working and thus can support him/ wont go on centrelink (Which is dumb, because he is the breadwinner earning almost three times the amount I earn - and I'm six months pregnant so I'm not likely to be bringing no bacon soon. But whatever, I work, and that's good for the visa.) On a side note, Obi was telling me the other day that he'd have asked/pressured me to stop working by now if we didn't need it for the visa. Guess he doesn't like his breeder to be overtaxed haha. I thought it was sweet, even though I'd choose to work regardless.
I've got to go back through our relationship history, re-write the part that clearly states I'm not still seeing the pedophile because getting the stat dec to prove we weren't together last time was humiliating, and then add on the last year and a half's worth of history. It's so long man. They want to know everything in detail from the moment you meet online... and I've loved this boy for *counts on fingers* eight years. A lot goes down in eight years! I should do that today actually. I mastered the printer today. >.>
So like... keep a diary if you're going to face a visa at some point. There's my advice.
I also need to get a couple of passport photos done to go with it. But that can wait another day.
Relationship wise, things are trucking along merrily. We haven't seen much of each other this past fortnight though with him working late. He's going to try and come home a bit earlier today, and that'd be nice.
I've been a bit sappy with him though. I feel all alone and abandoned, like I'm on this big adventure but I have no one to share it with. Which is dumb, but I have a lot of hormones right now 'aight? I just want him to ask to do baby stuff with me. I want to feel like he's interested and involved and stuff. I want to share this with him (and he always listens if I bring it up... The closest he does is rubs my belly and tells me sweet nothings, which is great, I love that, but it's not enough). But he never asks how the fetus is doing today, or if there's something we could be doing to prepare, and he doesn't talk names with me. Now, names is becoming a sore point. See, we had a system, I'd choose names I liked and he could veto the ones he didn't want. And I asked him several times if he wanted to look into names on his own, or did he have suggestions, did he want to make a list (the most common method of choosing baby names seems to be both parents make a list, and if any name features on both that's a good place to start, but if not they can work through it together and eventually find something both are happy with) but anyway, he kept saying no, he was happy with how we were doing it, thought I was better at it blah blah...
Anyway, so a few weeks back I fell in love with a name. This was before we knew the gender. But, absolutely in love. No, I'm not telling you what it is either. But I fell in love with this name, and it, along with one other that seems to be a winning favorite for us both would potentially be at the top of the "this is it" list. (We're not naming it before it is born - but assuming it's born healthy and the name suits the face then that number one name would be the one to stick, make sense?)
I told him I'd fallen in love with it and that I really wanted him to seriously consider letting me have it, even though it's different from anything he's ever heard. I love this name so much I almost feel that the baby chose it - but that's just plucking crazy. Anyway so he thought about it, and gave a hesitant yes. And I was over the moon.
A couple weeks after I thought that was well and good (and we found out it's a girl) I discover that he's still not keen on it, but more importantly that he feels left out of the decision.
Frankly, that pisses me off no end. I asked and asked and harped on, trying to make sure he was happy and that he got a say and he was all "no no, don't want to contribute" and then AFTER I fall in love with her name and start getting attached to it and AFTER he tells me yes he takes that away and lets me feel like a selfish bitch?
Ok, so, I know I need to back down on this and I'm like "ok we can go back and choose another name together." but since then, he hasn't mentioned it in more than passing, and hasn't made any suggestions or as far as I'm aware given it any thought what-so-ever. I know we still have lots of time. And I know we agreed not to name her til she's born... so he probably thinks there's no reason to care yet. But the longer he waits, the harder it's becoming for me to let go of that name I loved, the less time I have to grow to love whatever he picks... and the harder it is to bond with the fetus.
I'm glad I let that out. It's really been weighing me down. I also don't want to be a nag, as I know he doesn't have much free time and he wants to have fun with the time he does have... but yeah
He told me yesterday that he started to read the book I got for him (Cheers to childbirth) at least, so that was nice. If he had of told me that before I started melting down last night, he might have saved me a lot of distress though.
So yeah, other than my hormones, and the fact I'm sore all the time and am starting to look like a whale things have been awesome. I think this is more than long enough though, so let's leave it for today.
I'm sorry Obi is making the naming process difficult, especially when you have such strong feelings for a name already. You are definitely not a selfish bitch for being upset about it!
I'm happy to hear you are also not naming it before it is born, I find it weird when I head women talk about their fetuses like they have their own thoughts. 'Oh little jamie loves listening to classical music she kicks me every time" Weird!
I've got a little folder on my computer for 'proof' of our relationship, I'm lucky you are paving the way for when I have to do it, I'll have lots of advice and tips to help make it not to hard.
When are you due btw?
Hope you can sort out the name issue with your SO.
Did Michelle catch up with you so she can send you your prize? Might give you something fun to do while you're healing up
TwoThree - Australia is hard to get into. You have to really want it, or be a kiwi haha. This is our second round though, so I'm feeling pretty good about it.
On the names and spawning front, he did end up coming home early yesterday and we talked. Blogging always seems to help me phrase what I want to say better. And basically he told me it's not at all disinterest, it's more ignorance. Anyway, so I told him the name thing is a bit distressing (and I think I did that without laying any guilt which I'm proud of) and he's promised to work on it, and then we went out and looked at baby stuff. While we were there, some random came up and gave us so much good advice about bottles and breastfeeding, it was great. I'm really thankful to this random woman in Target. Haha.