It's raining again.
I feel like it's been raining forever, but I think it's actually been three days. 
So far, despite being mad depressed, I've managed to not blog too much about it. Go me! I've written a blog almost every day, but I've been smart enough not to post them. Today, probably not going to be so lucky.
My work just phoned me to ask if I've had the brat yet and can they come around and visit? *Sigh* I guess because they have not seen me for several days they figured I was in labour. No no, I'm just avoiding you all. The last time I went over the road for supplies some chick from the deli department asked me if I was dilating yet. Uh, excuse me? Since when is it ok to inquire about the stretch status of another woman's vagina? Is that a normal topic of conversation and I just live under a rock?
But I have to go out today. I need to pick up some dead animal, because I promised Obi I'd make stew. He loves my stew. God knows why, this shit is poor man's food. But if it makes him think I'm a good wifey, who am I to complain? And hell, it's better than any more spicy food. I mean I love spicy food, but I'm over it. It's completely a myth that it'll bring on labour. I mean it might if you're one of those people who never eats spicy food, but if you're used to chili based dishes and shit with curry, no matter how spicy it is, nothing's going to happen.
The sex thing though? Totally not a myth. I had some mad (and painful!) pre-labour the other night after a tumble, and I reckon if I could have gotten a second injection I might not be typing this right now... Very effective. Unfortunately, for reasons I will spare you, we can't actually have sex right now and I estimate it'll be at least a week before we can. So that leaves me not feeling like a happy camper. I guess that leaves lots of walking and waiting. And really, I'm over the waiting. And it's raining. I don't like the rain.
Last night when I was having a mad breakdown (I'm having a lot of breakdowns right now. And if I'm not depressed or crying or getting angry about stupid shit, I'm having some whacked out crazy ideas. It's fucked up. It'd be hilarious too I'm sure, but my sense of humour isn't cooperating right now.) Anyway, Last night when I was having a spack, I told Obi that next time, we're doing this shit differently. Next time, I'm going to lie through my freaking teeth to keep my sanity.
Next time, no one is going to know the expected due date of the brat. If need be I'll tell them I never went for a dating scan. And I AM working til 40 weeks, and Obi can suck my balls if he thinks otherwise. It's two weeks today that I stopped working and already I want to smash my face against the wall.
Being unemployed has given me too much time to think too, and there's been a lot of "when we move back to Canada" talking lately, so I think he's getting the itch. How am I going to get out of bed for $12 an hour?! I need a better plan. But there's time for that later. I wonder if our visit will cure him for a while or ignite the fires of homesickness?
Obi got his tax return yesterday and it blew him clear away. He's like "I love your Government!! When can I go for citizenship?!" It was great. Yeah, we pay a lot of tax here, but the system isn't an unfair one. He reckons he felt like he wont the lottery.
I feel relieved about it though, took quite a weight off my mind because I have been worried about how we'd pay the midwife, cover Christmas, afford plane tickets for early next year, have fun with his parents while they are here, have the naming ceremony etc etc and now, that's all gone. We're suddenly secure again. And our house deposit savings have reached 20 grand, not counting the pennies we left in Canada. We're not planning to buy until... what... 2017? But I feel very secure that when the time comes we wont need to be crushed under a 30 year mortgage.
See that? See what I did there? Focused on something positive! Eat that stupid depression!
*Phone jingles* My sister isn't working today. If the rain lets up I'll roll my fat arse over there for a visit. Haven't seen her in ages so that'd be nice. As long as we don't get in a blue anyway. There's less and less we agree on as time goes by, but she'll always be my friend. Wonder if I can convince her to come and do some stupid girly shit like get a pedi to waste some time. I'd probably have to shout though, she's crying poor right now. I've never gone for any of those things before. I imagine they are expensive, but I might be pleasantly surprised. Hmm. Food for thought. Still thinking of getting a massage, but that link snow girl posted is in the back of my mind. I told Obi about it, he laughed his arse off.
Actually, I'm feeling quite a bit better. Going to drink this water, have a shower and head out. Fuck being home alone, what a joke. And it's Friday. I'm going to be happy because Friday is awesome and the weekend is always awesome and I don't give a shit if this baby stays in there until she turns into a Sagittarius. RAWR!
I think when it comes to pregnancy social norms sort of become... invalid? I don't know. My mum told me that she was visibly very pregnant when she had last oral exam in nursing school and her examiner asked if he could touch her belly. How's that ok?
The whole growing a human in your belly thing is something I'm looking forward to, strange people asking to touch me? Not so much.
Did you mean having sex in a week if the baby doesn't come? Cause I'll genuinely believe you're a superhuman if you can do it a week after delivery
Maybe you should start knitting or something to pass time? Seriously though, waiting for 2 more weeks can seem like forever now but it'll be gone before you know it! And blog all you want