I'm finding the last few days she's both more hungry than ever but she gets angry when I offer food and takes ages to latch. I don't understand it. It's stressful though.
Anyway, I spoke to Obi when he got home and he felt terrible. He doesn't recall ever saying "Can't you do it?" when I've asked for help but then, I've said a lot of things I don't remember when I'm half asleep too. I'm like "Well, you have a good point, if I have the energy to ask, theoretically I can go do it" and he's like "but that's not the point - it's about keeping mental stability" He got it, hands down.
So I should be seeing a bit more effort.I'm wondering if the change in her sleep patterns is somehow to do with the fact her days are much less busy without the in laws here. I guess we'll see.
I want to thank everyone for the support they gave me yesterday. It really made a difference, especially as I couldn't find a local friend to come spend time with me.
*~*~*
Today.
I'm doing better. Marginally. I'm sore and tired. But whatever it is I usually draw on to get me through the day seems to have refilled, so I'm good to go.
What is, is what must be ~ This too shall pass.
I'm trying to remember to focus on the bits I love and let the things I don't just roll over me.
Now, to the title of this blog - if you recognized the quote, you win.... you win absolutely nothing though.
It's Lorna Jane's life motto. It's written on the front of my day planner that's staring at me. And it's relevant because I'm going back to the gym today. I've signed the owl up for creash (or however you spell it), scrubbed all the mold off the pram (Thanks cousin, couldn't you have hosed it down before giving it away?) and shaved my legs so I can wear the shorts Bec gave me for Christmas. I'm all set! Now I just have to hope Isis isn't a turd, because the childminders don't actually DO anything for your child. They just watch them, and come get you if there is crying.
I was a bit annoyed at that really. I'm like "do I need to bring any food for her?" and the lady goes "Are you brestfeeding?"
"Yeah"
"Someone will come and get you. But if you were formula feeding you could leave a bottle"
*Little glare* "I'm happy to express and leave you a bottle"
It turned out too that the "free" chresh is only actually free for the first ten visits, and after that you have to pay for it on top of the gym fee. Pretty lame. One of the reasons I signed up was for the free childcare (because we were already TTC). Anyway $4 a visit probably wont kill me. And I'll buy her a visit pack if I decide to renew my membership in April, or whenever it is (if you pause your membership does that mean you keep the time on pause? It does, right?) and that'll make it marginally cheaper.
I want to do more with my days. This is actually what I was thinking about (positively) before I came to blog where I had a breakdown instead. They say babies thrive on routine, so maybe I can take cues from her and build something out of my day. Times to write, to go to the gym, to pray (yes, I know I'm gay, but I love to pray. Haha, I'm a poet and I didn't know it.) and clean.. and whatever.
LB made a comment on my facebook that reminded me to care about something. She was asking if owlet will have my accent or Obi's. Now, that's a pretty loaded question for me, because while I can handle the Canadian accent in the men, I can't stand it in the women. It's high-pitched and nasal and just... I don't know but it grates on my nerves something chronic. (Sorry Snow_Girl. Don't take it personally! I know being Aussie I sound like a bogan, and that's quite a bit worse, I just can't hear it). One thing that I do not want is to hear my children talking in that slow Canadian drawl. My Canstralian mates' little girl does it too, and I'm just like... no. I couldn't listen to that every day! I guess it wont be such a problem with Isis because she'll be three at least before we move back, but the other kids will learn to speak in Canada. I don't mind if they come out without an accent (if that's possible), I don't care if they don't sound Australian - I just don't want them to speak like Obi's mum
And I'm told as the primary caregiver she'll learn my accent because she's around me. Yeah, except, I hardly talk at all in the course of an average day. I talk to her a little bit, but it's the same as talking to myself or a bag of sugar. It feels pointless even if it isn't. But, what I can do is read to her. While she feeds would work because there's a particularly long feed every day and I can't do a lot else during that. So I'm going to make the effort to read every day. Not kids books yet though, I'll bore myself with that stuff when she can understand it
Ok, I better start getting ready. It's so hard to get anywhere on time lol.
But yes, feeling better today. At least until I weigh myself at the gym, and then all bets are off.
I think after a certain age, the accent can stick. My cousin is from Virginia and he lived there from an infant to age 8. At age 8 he moved to Maine (accent is very different here) and he definitely still has a Virgina accent, although not as strong as it was when he first moved here. And he is 12 now. Although, I guess over time it could continue to fade away to a Maine accent. Not sure.
I bet you can mold her accent. I grew up in Southern USA but both my parents are from upstate NY. In the South everyone thinks I'm from the North because I don't have the drawl, nor do my siblings. For the most part, I don't have a southern accent and it's because my mom made sure we didn't pick one up! She would constantly make fun of southerners for saying "ce-ment" or "ink-pen" so we never talked like that.
Now with that said I did pick up a bit of a country accent. My sister thinks it's not country, just ghetto. It really only comes out when I get excited or angry about something