We went and watched a couple of shows too. One of which was "Girls girls girls Extreme riding" so I'm like Woo! Chicks doing motocross! ... Uh, not so. It turned out to be "extreme" horse riding. Which was a group of chicks who were competing to ride their horse alongside a truck going 45km and jump from the horse to the truck. Whatever, still cool. There was also this synchronized ute driving show. Nobody does bogan like we do bogan.
The "psycho side show" was another thing we watched. Well, Obi watched. I spent a lot of time looking away because I can't handle watching people in pain even if they are doing it to themselves. There was this double joined guy who was like "watch me dislocate my shoulder... woo spaghetti arm!" and I'm all *retch*, another guy stuck his arm in one of those old-fashioned bear traps, there was Australia's record-holding chainsaw juggler. And, of course, America's famous lizard man.

This was a highlight for Obi, being a furry and everything. He'd previously had drinks with the guy who turned himself into a tiger and now he's seen Lizard man live. Oddly enough, if you spoke to Lizard dude on the phone you'd never guess. His voice is completely normal, sounds like a regular northern yank. It was a bit trippy. This information will be relevant later.

It was a good time. We went a bit crazy. Anything we wanted we got and we laughed so much.

Oh! There was this native American Indian stall (Known colloquially over here as "Red Indians") and they took your birth date and showed you what the moon looked like when you were born. Really neat. I've been looking for a baby-safe paganish necklace for myself for a while now too. And, it glows in the dark. Anyway, I get this special feeling every time I look at my moon, like it's alive! (Obi got his moon, and we bought one for Isis for when she's a bit older too. Her moon is nicer than mine, I was jelly.) I'm tempted to order a full moon one as well.
So the lady opens her book, looks up my date (she's reading aloud) and says "20th of the 5th.... was a... Wednesday" and I'm like "Hold up, are you sure?" and she looks at me like I'm daft and points it out to me.
Why does this surprise me? Well my whole life I've believed I was born on a Tuesday. It's written in my baby book as a Tuesday. There's this cute Christian poem in there and it goes:
"Tuesday's child is full of grace" and
"Wednesday's child is full of woe"

Hahaha it's true that I'm more woeful than graceful. Funny how that stuff is probably all shit, but it's often true for me. Like my horoscope, I'm typical of my sign.

There was only one drawback to the day. And that was my boobs. (This may get graphic, feel free to skip ahead) I was going to take my pump but Saturday morning I discovered I had the wrong kind of batteries and nothing was open for us to buy some unless we went waaay out of our way and lost a bunch of time. Which I didn't even consider doing because how bad can it be? Let me tell you. If you feed your brat at 8am and then don't get home until after 10pm it's going to be very very bad.

I was alright until about mid-day and then my chest was rock hard. Seriously. Harder than a bloke in a LDR's cock on the first day of a visit. Not to be crude or anything. It ached, but I'm like surely my body will realise we're full and stop producing milk. Nope, doesn't work like that. A couple of hours later the pain was so bad I couldn't move my left arm. I'm like "I have to do something!" not wanting to creepily abduct someone's baby, we tried to find a quiet place so he could help me out, but the place was packed and there was no way I could have snuck into a parent room or something with him. So we found ourselves wandering in the horse area. There was a lane with very light traffic, doors standing open toward the lane every ten metres or so with skips for the manure next to each door. There was a clear view down the lane both ways, so I'm like "Warn me if anyone comes this way!" and ducked into the corner between the wall and a skip. I whip out the most painful side and hand-express for all I'm worth while Obi opens the big park map and pretends to be lost. There's a guy standing in a doorway further down the lane, so Obi's keeping watch on him, so much so he doesn't notice the man striding toward us from the other direction! When strider pulls parallel with me I put my mound away at the speed of light and stood up. If he thought anything was amiss, he didn't say anything but I was still mortified! It was turning into a nightmare.

I knew I'd only delayed things, but I could move my arm again so off we went, still enjoying the show. Another hour goes by and I'm in so much pain I can't think of anything else. I can barely walk because of the vibration each step sending into my chest. Obi's like "You're going to have to do it in the toilet" but I was trying so hard to find a better option. For those of you who've never had contact with a lactating breast there isn't just a hole in the centre of the nipple there are many pores, all facing different directions. And I don't know about other women, but I can't aim it. I desperately didn't want to just find a stall and start spraying because of the mess I knew I'd make, but at the same time I couldn't use a hand basin because I was afraid of someone having a go at me or being totally grossed out. I'm like "that's so disrespectful to the other women..." and he's like "here's a massive wad of napkins, use them as a soaker pad, no mess!"
I was in too much pain to argue so I tried that. A forest worth of serviettes wouldn't have been enough. It was a great idea for all of 30 seconds and then I had no choice but to lift the lid and do my best to aim it's so mortifying I don't know why I'm even sharing it with you.

So there I am, my shirt is off, my bra around my waist, and these things protruding out of me. They didn't even look like boobs anymore they looked like... growths. All lumps and bulges. I felt like I should have been in the freakshow beside Lizard man. There was milk every where, my shoes, the floor, the loo, the wall.... but I just couldn't stop. I learnt to fire both at once. I know I'll laugh about this in a few years.

Safe from here. We stayed at the park until it closed, catching the fireworks/ this weird play.
If this video works... this was part of the display. I can't check the sound because I've muted my speakers for the baby. But skip ahead until you see the giant metal lady. To be honest, she freaked me out a bit. But it was a good show because it was so weird. A lot of talent and effort went in.