So freaking tired. Can't handle it. Must stay awake! Going to blog while I eat something that will hopefully wake me up.
The last few days of Canada were fairly uneventful. We felt good that we'd gotten to spend quality time with everyone who was important to us. We went to dinner with Camping Grandma, her birthday gift to both of us, and finally met her boyfriend I was determined to meet him before we left. I also asked a bunch of questions about what it's like dating at her age (when he wasn't around) and I appreciated her opening up to me.
We went out for all-you-can-eat sushi with bestman and it was just so so great. I love that place. It's expensive by their standards ($25pp) but come on, you can eat nothing but sushimi the whole time you're there and it's always flawlessly fresh, you don't really wait for anything (they have those digital notebooks, so the kitchen knows what you have ordered before the waitress leaves your table) and no body comes by and nags you about how you're doing.
Anyway, it was a bit awkward when we were leaving, Obi gave bestman cash to cover our part and he just put the bill on his credit card. When he was at the interac/eftpos he must have selected "no" to the tip, because the manager guy goes "Will you be tipping in cash today?" and he's like "uh, no..." Then, in a pressuring and angry fashion the manager starts asking "Do you have a different card you wish to tip with?" "Was there something wrong with your meal today? "Was the food not good enough?" "Are you sure you're not tipping in cash?" The guy is leaning forward now, like, really rude and insistent, not friendly at all, but Bestman is a security guy, and he's not small. Still, he seemed at a loss for what to do or say... lastly the manager goes "Right, so you're not tipping at all then?" like he couldn't believe it so I stepped in. I'm like "That's right mate, we're not tipping. We're leaving. Come on Bestman" and we left.
Now, when I eat out I always think of Luce. Always. And I guess I've mentioned it enough that Obi thinks of Luce too, because when he took me out for my birthday, he tipped really well (I was surprised!) The waitress was helpful, polite, knew the menu... she was just good at her job. But this sushi place? You don't have one server, none of them understand half of what you say, they don't go out of their way in any fashion, and they are paid a wage. They don't need tips and they aren't going above and beyond their regular service to get them. Plus, the price went up since last we were there. Anyway I just found it really rude. We don't tip in Australia, and if we do it's usually a "keep the change" kind of deal, not this paying a percentage on top. I always tip good cab drivers though because if you get one that doesn't rip you off an extra $10 just because he can, you should use positive reinforcement on that behaviour.
On our last day mum wanted to spend time just with me. She reckons she's had his whole life to spend with Obi so her and I need it more. So we went out for breakfast to this cute cafe owned by a friend of hers. The food was alright, and it was an interesting place. Then we went for her idea of a hike, in some nearby park forest land place. It was beautiful and local and I wanted to cry "WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL US THIS WAS HERE?" all the time I was depressed in Canada and was asking about free places to go, nature stuff, things to see.... she reckons she's been going hiking in this place since she was dating Dad. It's frustrating now to be finding beautiful places that may have made a difference when I needed it most. But at least I can remember for when I live there next time. You know, for that one day a month it isn't raining.
While I was out with mum, Obi took his sister out for a sibling date, and to talk about Paul, because he's concerned. Well, by the sounds of it everyone in the family has had the same talk with her, I'm not even exaggerating. We felt a bit bad really for how much she needs to defend this relationship. Anyway she told Obi about how he's really sweet and romantic, like if he's in his car following her and they stop at a light, he'll jump out, run to her car and kiss her, then run back to his... how she was proud of the effort he put in when we went out to Ashcroft that first weekend because that was a big thing for him.. about how his culture is selfless when it comes to family, and so she knows she was wrong to be angry over the banana bread incident... just a bunch of small things. It was good for Obi to come back with a better understanding of their dynamic, not that either of us like Paul any better, but just to see what she sees. I still think she's making excuses for him though.
One thing broke a tiny corner off my heart that day... After mum and I got back from breaky, she was running around getting ready for a church retreat and dad was messaging SIL (We couldn't reply from our phones because of international charges) telling them to hurry home. Anyway, they got in, mum hugged us all one more time, and then she left. To spend the night at a church retreat. Instead of being with her family. Instead of being with her son on the last evening she will see him for maybe a year, perhaps more. (We'll go next year for his ten year school reunion, but we don't know when it is yet) And that just made me sad. If it was unusual, or a really big thing she couldn't get out of, it would be different. But she's always putting church before her family. Dad reckons he doesn't see her much anymore, she jokes that they only talk via email, Amanda has messaged me in tears before because he mum has bailed on her for church events... It's just really sad. Like a drug addiction. I think faith is a beautiful thing, I know she's doing great work in the community, these people are her friends and she's entitled to have fun and live how she wants.... but family always comes first to me. It's not like we were leaving early either. The flight was for after her bed time. I dunno, it just made me sad for him.
I was a bit sad for dad too. He made this massive feast, not realizing Mum was leaving so early. Grandma was out of town that evening too, the uncle does shift work, and when dad asked the SIL to stay for dinner she said "Paul and I are vegetarians now, so there's no point in me staying to watch you eat ribs" (Note in one of the first Canada Chronicles Paul told me he only eats meat because everything else makes him sick. )
So it was just the three of us, which was cool too. I think dad is probably the person who misses Obi and Owlie the most, so it was fitting. He makes an effort to Skype weekly (half the time mum doesn't because church) and talks to me on facey. They gave me a webcam for my birthday, I think he's hinting that I can Skype with him when Obi's working lol. Anyway he drove us to the airport and the crushing international guilt started. But I didn't cry enough that anyone noticed.
We hit up the duty free at the airport like never before too. Picked up some mad bargains on ice wine <3 and THIS maple flavored red wine. I wish we'd known how great that stuff would be, because it was fairly inexpensive and I love it. Also, it worked as a strong aphrodisiac. TMI I know, but we had a glass and a half each and then I looked at Obi and I'm like "Let's have sex on the floor" and we did. Right there. No foreplay. No shower (we're usually very finicky on the shower front) no nothing. I have half a bottle left. I'm saving it. Hahahah
And that was the biggest longest blog ramble saga ever, I'm pretty sure!
I'm still tired. Must work and not nap. Yes.
You could have quoted a page straight from my life book when you wrote about your MIL putting church before family. With our own family, my mom is always around, always there for us if we need her, etc. She's a fantastic mom. But God forbid if one of us deviates from her moral notions--then, it's church before family. You WILL get lectured until you either come around to her way of thinking, and, if you don't, then you're not good enough for her. She'll love you, but there will always be a surface veneer of disapproval.
Anyways sorry to hijack the comments section, but just wanted to say I can completely relate. <3 Hope Obi was okay, and your FIL just sounds marvelous and so sweet. I'm glad you guys got to spend the last evening with him at least!
Laura, I saw that thing about Utah on facey and was all O.o Canada don't tip in the same way the states seem to. Tips don't make up part of their wage and people don't go hungry if you don't tip, but Canadian service is generally so good that you want to tip.
Moon that is a weird rule :/ But you never know what's in the future hey?
That maple wine sounds amazing! I wonder if I could find it here...
I can't believe the MIL. That's so sad
Obi must've felt awful. I really like FIL though and it's great that you got to spend the last night with him.