I've got a lot on my mind and none of it is really connected. Except it is. It's all about the noodles, right?

Religion/ Spellcraft.

I've had religion on my mind a bit, not the least of all because of Princessmaria's thread yesterday. We're not going to discuss that here because she can't read it/defend herself. And I saw this sometime in the past week too:



It makes me think. I love religion, I long to understand why people believe the things they do, and how those beliefs play out on a Macro level.

There's been a lot of off-hand comments in my micro-world too, and on facebook. Dear Lord, I have never seen so much religious stuff on my facey. Most of it still makes me smile... but some of it just makes my blood boil, or my eyes start rolling. I think there seems like more than there really is because of the outright flood of "Angel baby" stuff I get from that one friend too.

Religion is an odd thing. And so much of the bad things that come of it could be avoided if we (all religious people) admitted two things 1) We don't KNOW for sure, with irrevocable proof, that God/the Gods exist or that we are following their teachings/ that our dogma is right. 2) If we could agree that it is possible that all faiths are paths up the same mountain.

I know, never going to happen. Especially if you believe that everyone not on your path is doomed. But, a girl can dream right?

I've been thinking about it for other reasons too. Two people (who have the right to remain anonymous, plus there's the "To Be Silent" principle) have come to me recently asking for spells. Not for me to put them together and these people use them, no, they would like me to do the whole thing. Which is fine, and I feel special that they asked.

BUT... do you know how long it's been since I needed to shake my mojo? Do you know how time-consuming that shit can be?

Grab hold of your suspension-of-disbelief for a second and bear with me. Magic(k) is basically science for the uneducated people. There are a lot of parts of spellcraft that can be backed up with actual facts, but a good deal of it is the infallible belief in yourself and your ability. A good deal of the time, I'm a huge skeptic. People come at me with their stories of true-dreaming, seeing auras, and whatever other fluff you can imagine and I'm all "Suuuure you did. Go back to your tea party now dear" but once or twice a year I set up my circle, I meditate enough to convince myself I believe in this crap and then I pour my heart into whatever it is I'm trying to get done.

I kind of want to do it, just because I miss the rush. Working with energy can be very addictive, it comes with it's own kind of high that's hard to explain. But I'm lazy too. Which is why many Wiccans don't fall back on spells for very much (that and moral reasons). See it's easier, much of the time, to just go and do whatever it is with your back. I could spend an hour in circle willing some bastard to call me, or I could pick up the phone and call him in under five minutes -just for an example. So the only time you'd use spellcraft is if you couldn't just go and do it manually; as a boost to everything you're already doing, or because it's not the kind of thing you should pray and ask for. Because prayer is easier, and often a great deal more powerful, but there's some shit you shouldn't pester the gods about like "Please make that beautiful dress I want to by not sell in the next three days while I wait for my pay to come in".

Hobbies

Tuesday when I was walking my baby I remembered something from my time living in Canada. Obi and I had moved out on our own for the first time, and the relationship was rocky. We didn't know how to have fun together. We didn't really know how to be together without computers in between us. In the end we sat down and thought up all the cool things we want to learn and do together, trying to find common ground. A lot of those things we couldn't do at that time because we were dirt poor and working different days. Now though? We're doing fine. $50 a week or something wouldn't be a big deal to go out one night an learn something new. One of the things we agreed on would be learning to dance. Obi's not as keen as I am, but I think he'd enjoy it if he gave it a go. I'd love to learn 50's rock and roll dancing, or ballroom. I've been meaning to bring it up to him, but haven't had the chance. I suppose I should google and see what is in our area first anyway. But LB's blog reminded me of this.


Gym

The other thing that her blog reminded me of was that I want Obi to start doing something active, if not the gym, then SOMETHING. And not for the innocent reason's LB has either, though as a release of stress it wouldn't hurt. But because the lifestyle he's living is unhealthy (he works at a desk, comes home and sits on his bum, and most weekends we play video games and take short slow walks. Now there's a car there's even less exercise going on) and it's starting to show on his body. He's mentioned it and I know he realises I see it too. I don't want to have the "Start looking after yourself" talk with him if I can avoid it, but I think it's coming.

I think one of the reasons his lack of activity is so obvious is because of how much time I'm putting in to my health. I went to the gym twice yesterday, and it was awesome. The yoga was especially nice. It was a strength class, very challenging. It was also really fulfilling on a spiritual level
Bec and I will go again Friday night. We try to go three times a week, with some success. I feel like it's not doing enough for me though. Much of the time it's too easy, and I stop because time is up not because I can't keep going. I'm also holding myself back a little because of the two of us I am fitter and stronger (never thought I'd see the day) but Bec doesn't seem to know when to stop. She will match everything I do, even if it makes her physically sick from the exertion or she'll damage a muscle. To protect her, I'm doing as much as she can handle, which is maintaining my fitness but not improving it. I need to throw in a couple of additional work outs or something to challenge myself. Obi says on gym nights I should go in half an hour earlier than her, at least when we're not doing a class. We'll see.

I'm loving it though! I feel good (but sore!). I wouldn't say I have more energy and I can't see a reduction on any part of my body, but it's not a wasted effort.

Work & Money

Another reason I haven't spoken to Obi about dancing or another active hobby is that last night he came home and relayed a conversation with his workmates.

Grant (who's always right up the producer's arse): "Are both of you working on the assumption that Friday is your last day?"
Ben: "Uhh, no"
Obi: "Should we be?"
Grant: "There hasn't been a decision made one way or the other, but it would be best to assume you're leaving Friday"

Crap. That's the thing about VFX, it's an unstable line of work. Last week all their employees were interviewed, because this new guy has been hired on and he wants to "cut the fat" out of the company. A lot of people have already been laid off. But we felt Obi was more or less secure. His supervisor flat out said he doesn't want Obi to leave, that he provides senior quality work at a mid rate of pay (that was nice to hear!) and Obi doesn't have an end date on his contract like many of the other guys do... but yeah. It's a worry. We can survive on what we have for about 2-3 months I judge, but longer than that we'd be in trouble. So if he does lose his job, we hope he can get another fast.

I could keep going, I could complain about how it seems like my whole house is going moldy or tell you how much I love my ergobaby carrier. At some point I'm going to make you read about the massive breeding guilt I'm having too but today I wont. I'll spare you.... this time!