I always ramble too much. I probably have more part twos than any other blogger.


I asked if he was sure, because it sounded like something I'd already been through, and if it was possible this had already happened. He's like "No, your past relationships are these islands here.." and he drew on my hand and said that I will certainly meet my soul mate when I'm 30 and told me again I'm not really happy now. He said my soul mate would be 3-5 years older than me and would be rich compared to other people in his peer group. Well, Obi earns quite a bit for his age, but he isn't 3 or more years older than me.

At this point the guy realises I'm already married and asks to see a photo of Obi so he can read him. I pull one up on my phone and he tells me that of the two of us, I'm the more sane one. Not that Obi is crazy or a bad guy, he goes, but that his mind is different. Obi apparently doesn't understand me, he's got his head in the clouds while I'm down to earth. He's intelligent, but it's not a practical type of intelligence. He goes "Dustin's an ok guy, but you're not compatible". He also told me that while Dustin is happy with our relationship, he's not happy in himself/in general. Which was something I'd have asked him if he didn't tell me, because I know Obi wouldn't come right out and say it if he wasn't happy (he's admitted it to me in the past). It's true enough that Obi doesn't see the world like I do. He doesn't anticipate things in the same way, doesn't really worry or get excited about the future like most people do, and as I've mentioned before, he can't anticipate fun. So if I suggest we do something or hang out with people, his instinct is to say no because he can't imagine enjoying whatever it is. He knows he has this problem though, and these days he goes along with my crazy schemes and enjoys himself. He always thanks me afterwards.

He told me many times that Obi is not my forever person and that was hard to hear. He more or less told me I don't love him. I said "I loved him enough to marry him" but this guy shrugged that off. Well I suppose a lot of people think they are in love and get married to the wrong person, eh? Then he goes "I see you having children in your 30s"

Wait a minute! I hope to be done by my thirties! He says he sees two kids for me, possibly three (doesn't touch genders or grandkids like gypsy did) and I'm like "Are these kids with my soul mate or the guy I'm with now?" It's at this point he "sensed a baby around me" and asked if I had kids or looked after someone else's a lot. On a side note, a few times in the reading he only picked up on something if I directly thought of it first, so I think he's sensitive in that area. (Yes, it is possible to sense the thoughts and feelings of people around you, especially if you've trained yourself to do it. Some people think very loudly) Obviously with the mention of kids I thought of Isis and our TTC of baby #2. He never directly answered my question. Instead he said "Miriam, plenty of people have children with a person they don't end up staying with."
Well, yes, I know that...

So this having kids at 30 and the stuff where he described perfectly the situation I went through in my cheating past make me think (and make both Obi and I want to believe) that maybe he's just off by like 5 years. I did start my adult life young, could that throw a reading off?

He didn't buy it, that's for sure. He's 100% certain I'm cheating on and then divorcing Obi when I'm 30. That was HARD to hear. Really hard. Last time I went through it, I did chose the new guy over the old guy (haha pun!).... Wait, Miriam. Think. That's not actually true is it?

Obi had already told me he'd never do LD again. He was in a relationship at the time I broke up with pedophile. I didn't believe he would ever give me a second chance. And whilst I loved him more than I knew how, I'd accepted we weren't getting together. I told myself, and pedophile and anyone else who asked that I was leaving P because he was an arsehole, not so I could be with Obi. And I do believe that even if Obi had never been born, I would have left P - actually if Obi wasn't on the scene, I'd have left P earlier instead of using Obi as a crutch to limp along this broken relationship.

Mmm. Makes me feel better. Slightly.

Anyway, dude goes "You do have a choice Miriam. Everyone has a choice. I can't tell you what choice you will make. But I can tell you that while you will be ok with Dustin, you would have unlimited happiness with your soul mate. That's the choice. You could be kind-of happy, or fantastically happy."


Obi and I talked about it, in depth of course. When we took our vows, one thing most people have in theirs we never had in ours was "I won't cheat on you" or "I will never have sex with other people" because we're both very aware that neither of us intend to only have sex with the other for the rest of our lives. I mean, if it happens that's great. Right now, I don't really want to go play with the other fish in the ocean. But in the future we're both interested in opening up our sex lives (not our relationship, though!) and so we didn't make a vow we might deliberately break. Tangent there. We spoke about it, about if I were to be tempted by someone else, likely it would be at that time in our lives - when we're back in Canada, where I have no friends and no family. Where if he's working long hours I might indeed seek comfort or something thrilling. I know what I'm like. And despite what this dude thinks, Obi knows what I'm like too.

It made me feel dirty and sad to think that I might face those same choices, the same feelings again. Personally, (I know it makes me a bad person) I love that guilty rush you get when you're cheating. I love having the excitement of the chase and the security of an already-founded relationship. But I know better now. And what's more Obi has never hurt me. He doesn't abuse me and I don't live in fear the way I did before. I don't want to think I'd let myself hurt him like that. But at the same time I know how feelings can creep up on you and manifest when you least expect it.

What else did he tell me? Oh, while he was reading for the future of my current relationship, my mother in law popped up. I'm advised to keep a pleasant distance from her. Not to be rude, but to keep her at arm's length from our lives, because other wise by the time the relationship ends I will feel like there's two and a half people in our couple. Interesting, if anything mom's a bit too hand's off, but I guess if we were living over there with her grandkids, she may start to meddle. I can't see Obi suddenly becoming a mummy's boy though. He also said the births of my children will give Obi and an cause to rejoice and related to that we're taking a spontaneous trip at the end of this year (it's not for a medical or emergency reason.) I hope that means my births will be safe and my brats healthy, because that's what I was asking about. He also read for Isis a little after I admitted that I already had a kid, and whilst he doesn't read for babies because you can't read for someone that doesn't have a personality yet, he did say he can't see any health problems in her foreseeable future, or right now, and that she's very smart. He said that I'll be a better mother than my mum, and that Obi will be a better father than my father was to me (not hard, that one!).

How do I feel now? Well, I think fore-warned is fore-armed. Or four armed. That's good too. I'm ecstatic that he sees me in the field I've always dreamed about. And confident that I can chose the family I have now over something new and exciting. I'm content with "mostly happy", I don't believe in divorce (as Obi reminded me) and I will stand by the vows I made and the future I've worked towards.