I don't like to whinge generally, but oh mi gawd I am fucking sick. And dizzy. Last night, as is our custom, Obi made spaghetti (his favourite meal, I hate it) and I attempted to make a pasta sauce from scratch. But I was just so sick, and I didn't think it through. It turned into a disaster. The baby was fussing, Obi was getting agitated (I assumed with me, but it was with her. Still, what does it matter? The only person that hurts is me. She doesn't care how he feels) I'm laying on the sofa trying to keep her distracted and not vomit and then the tears came. It's at this point Obi clues in that I've pretty much destroyed my own dinner and that I'm in no way capable of functioning like an adult. The whole thing was so pathetic that he starts laughing. So I'm laughing and crying.

In the end I ate his spaghetti. He always makes enough to feed an army anyway. It wasn't too bad

It got a little better after Isis went down. I feel ok when I'm eating, but when I stop I feel worse than I did, and if I just keep eating eventually I feel sick from over-eating. We played some video games until I thought I'd start crying again, and then I went to shower/bed. I was a mess. I took the night feeds, of course, but after the first one Obi put her back in her crib, and then after the second, she's crying because she wants to go back to bed and sleep, but I'm so dizzy I can't even sit up. I don't think I had the strength to hold her even if I could stand, so Obi put her to bed again and there I am clinging to the mattress like I'm going to fall off.

And of course I needed to pee, so so bad. A little while passes, Obi's probably half back to snoozeville when I realise the dizziness isn't going away and that my bladder is going to empty itself soon regardless of where I am. I'm talking to myself through this, because that's how I roll, telling myself that he obviously doesn't give a shit about me and that I need to man up and help myself. (I'm very dramatic at night time. It's a huge flaw) next thing I know he's there and he's like "Do you need help?". He gets me up slowly, guides me to the bathroom, goes and gets me a banana... I requested one, because once when I was pregnant with Isis I nearly blacked out at work. My co-worker gave me water and a banana and I felt better after a few minutes... puts me back in bed and cuddles me while I work on the fruit. Anyway, I'm nearly done, so I tell him it's cool to sleep and he lays down. A few minutes later I decide that I'm going to lay down too because I only have a few bites left.

Bad idea. The moment the back of my head touched the pillow the dizziness and nausea hit me 100 fold and I'm sitting back up, slapping him on the leg and pointing to the bucket in the corner with my jaw firmly clenched (much too dizzy to run for the bathroom). Thank the Gods that bucket is empty (it's used for soaking the really bad nappies) lol. It's the first time Obi's ever seen me vomit, not counting the time I got food poisoning and was sleeping with my headset on He was pretty surprised, but fast! Boy wastes no time when he's needed.

So I'm sitting on the bed, hugging the bucket, holding the rest of my banana carefully away from the bucket wondering how the fuck I'm going to manage to get up, rinse the bucket and get my arse back to bed without revisiting the spaghetti he so kindly let me plunder earlier in the night. And that's when I knew it was true love. When he took the bucket and cleaned it for me.

Why does this matter? well let me tell you a story while I'm on this gross subject. When I was with P I still had allergies. I couldn't eat wheat or tomato or I'd become very ill (yes, sad childhood I had due to that haha) but either he didn't believe me or didn't care. His daughter made fried rice and put flour in it. And it ended up half digested in a pile on the hardwood floor beside the bed. Despite being nearly delirious from how sick I was, I didn't get a shred of help. And I come from a family that really takes care of it's members when they are sick so that was a rude shock.

So yes, I love my husband. I love him even more because even though he was up half the night looking after me, he got up with the baby and let me sleep in.

Right so, mllebamako, if you're reading this, the blog stops here. Because I'm going to talk about you not to you, so please move right along. I'm trusting you on this.



Anyway, I think I'll go back to bed. Ni ni.