I keep starting to blog and then I realise I'm boring and have nothing to say so I navigate away from the page. Well I'm still boring, but I think I want to blog anyway.

I'm pretty proud, my little girl is starting to walk! I was holding her hands for standing practice four days ago and she made one step... before she sat down and cried. But it must have unlocked something, because she's coming ahead in leaps and bounds. It won't be long before she doesn't need to hold hands at all, and then I'll really be in trouble! Her level of understanding what we say is also a lot better than I imagined it would be and that's very nice.

Some things though, we have to start being careful about. Like the other day, she was sitting on the lounge and I was kneeling on the floor with my elbows on the lounge, holding her drink. Obi was sitting beside me. He reaches over and casually gropes my boob. So Isis leans forward and gropes the other one. Mmm guess we need to dial that stuff back now.

Last Friday, Obi had an interview with the people in Melbourne. So it's been a week, heard nothing. He'll contact them Monday, but I think we already know the answer. The closer it gets to Christmas, the less likely it is for him to get hired as most VFX houses shut down over Xmas anyway. Which has been a bit depressing for me. It's been a long time now, I'm really starting to struggle with his unemployment. I'm sure he is too. He's going to look for unskilled labour, but in reality, we can't live off that. And I can't get a full time position, because no bastard hires a woman who's obviously pregnant. So stress.

Even though we're still ok. We haven't had to break into our "holy shit" savings, and we're still contributing a tiny bit to our house fund (Because if you don't deposit money, they don't give you most of the interest.) Logic tells me we could be a lot worse off and we're lucky to be doing so well considering how long he's been home doing jack. But the security-loving Taurus in me is getting seriously antsy. I'm starting to feel like he'll never work again (which is stupid, slack and over-dramatic) it's seriously driving me crazy. Probably because I know we need to find the money for a Canada flight for Amanda's wedding mid next year and somehow find $4000 for me to home birth again. Fuck you Medicare, why can't independent midwives be covered like they are in Canada? I'm terrified of having to birth in a hospital, not interested in that shit at all, but I can't risk a freebirth. I'd have died last time if Sonja hadn't been here.

So yeah. Lameness.

In other not lame news, I have my morphology ultrasound next Friday. That is to say, the big exciting ultrasound where I'll find out that my fetus is awesome and healthy, and if it's a boy or girl. And then maybe Obi will get a bit more on-board with the names thing.

I'm still stuck for boys names I like though, please let it be a girl fetus!

Overall, I'm pretty happy though. I've actually felt like writing and made time to do so in the past few days. Mostly because I know in ten years I will regret how lazy I've been. I'm also starting to feel a serious need for a career, which is pretty unlike me, but awesome, whatever, I can roll with it.
Obi's still working with my piolt readers. Both his mum and sister have been "let go" from the project. His mum messaged him the other day and she's like "Did you email the book to me? I haven't started it." Ugh. It's been over a year since I started asking for pilot readers. One person has actually finished the book - and it's some guy I've never spoken to. Anyway mum's like "Oh, I don't want Miri to think I don't care about her work" and he's like "It's been over a year, she knows you don't care."

Sometimes that shit gets me down, but most of the time I'm cool. People care enough to ask me how the writing is going, and that has got to count for something. Anyway, I realised that I'm nearly to the end of book two, and that's heartening!

But yeah, I want to get this shit published. And I didn't want to do that until it's been pilot read, professionally edited and all that jaz but I'm getting sick of waiting. And I'm tired of working on the first book. I'm to the point where I don't care how bad it is, I just want to move forward. I'm done with it. It's years and years of work that even my best mates couldn't be fucked to read. Maybe I should just chuck it out there and see what happens. There are so many entertaining but not particularly good books out there that sell. Why wouldn't I have some mediocre luck too?

I could ramble some more, but that will do.

Also I wanted to say, I always read the comments. Sometimes I'm so tired I don't write back, or I leave it too long and I assume others aren't checking back. But I always read the notes you leave and I think you're fantastic.
Hope the weekend is kind to you all.

Oh! And I've been driving! It's awesome! I suck at it, but hey, so do most of the drivers on the road lol. Excited!