So this one is going to be all over the shop. Not that the rest of my blogs are particularly coherent.
I'm thinking of making a non-LFAD blog, for all the parent crap that I don't blog about here. I probably will. Eventually. I need to be less lazy.
Where to start when there's no beginning? Well, I was having this conversation with Obi today, about nicknames. Specifically, he wants to ask Bec to tone it down on the "Sugar". Everyone who's on my facebook probably knows exactly what I mean. And she has, a little bit. I chipped her a few months ago, and now she will occasionally actually use my kid's real name, alongside Sugar. But all the presents under our tree from Bec have this nickname, and a month ago when Isis had her birthday party most of my friends started calling her that too - probably on the assumption that I'm endorsing it. I'm not. Now, I don't mind Sugar. "Sug" makes me want to stab myself in the face though. Seriously, you're so Australian you're actually going to make a nickname from the nickname you made?
Anyway the reason this is all so fresh and annoying is people have started to ask her what she's going to call the next one/ if she's chosen a name yet and she goes to me "I told them of course not! I'm not going to know what her nick name is until I see her!!" Which tells me one thing - something I guess I always knew - she is going to rename each of my kids.
Why do I care about this? Well if you're just tuning in, my sister has renamed everything I've ever named. Save one doll I had when I was like 7. She won't use my name, and won't let her friends or spouse either. She re-named my familiar, and all my other pets besides. When I was pregnant the first time, she said if I dared to call my kid Levi she'd call him pagantreebranch his whole life (Levi, for the record, is a Christian name). The list goes on. So while it's petty, understand that it wouldn't annoy me half as much if it didn't happen every single time. And yes, she knows it pisses me off. Yes, I have spoken to her about it. And no, she doesn't care.
But I wonder if Obi does step up and say something how many months of awkwardness and childishness will follow, and if it's really worth it.
On the topic of names, I gave Obi my list which included: Zola, Dana, Xanthe, Skye, Esmeralda, Moira and a few others. And he made a list and gave it to me. (Arista, Larissa, Serena, Nixie, Kallista, Lila, etc) Then we agreed to select three-four names from the other's list that we didn't hate. I managed four from his list that I could possibly live with. He managed one from mine, one of my least favourites - accepting it as a potential middle only. So that was deflating. But he gave decent reasons for why he hated those that I loved.
Interestingly, although he'd never heard the name Zola before he said it was manly - you'd need to say it with a deep voice apparently. So kudos to all those who said it reminded them of that French bloke.
Dana he simply could not pronounce, and when I found a website to prove to him how it's actually said, he professed it reminded him too much of Diana, his aunt's name.
Esmeralda was too long, Moira too weird etc etc.
On his list... well Kallista is a stripper name. I worked on a porn site in my younger years and one of the models (whose stuff I actually quite liked) was Kallista. I can't get past the connotations.
Nixie is a lovely name, I'd totally go for it (and considered it for Isis as a middle) but it's one of our mutual friend's cat's name, and she'd never let us live that down. Lila is common as cheese.
After some haggling, we did find a name from his list that had a similar name we both liked and agreed on. I didn't love it, but it's growing on me every day. Aaaaaand I'm not sharing it with you! Hahaha It's not official yet and it could change but... if we did go for it, we'd end up with an accidental name theme, as it too is the name of an ancient Goddess.
I feel good that he's had so much of a say this time. It's such a huge relief that he's taking part and not being a pain in my arse this time around!
Now though, we're stuck on a middle. We have one "Kyra" that's ok as a fall-back. It's similar to his mum's name (Karen) and he feels that because we honoured my mum with Isis's middle name, we ought to make it even for his mum this time. I love his mum, but I don't agree with this logic. Firstly, his mum isn't dead. Secondly, Amanda (his sister) will probably pass down her middle name (which is her mum's middle name) to her daughter when the time comes, and thirdly, if we have a boy it will have his heritage middle name. Not to mention all the kids have his last name. And fourthly - we're not having a fourth kid. So why does he get two and I only get one?
What I'd like to do is find a family name on both sides to use. And so I got my sister and his granny to compile lists of our grandparent's parents' and grandparents' names. Read that slowly and it might name sense lol.
But there really isn't a family name that was common to both. Yeah there were a couple of "Mary"s as expected (And Mary is a more modern version of my own name) but it's not common for either of us. And let's face it - Mary doesn't have a very nice meaning. It means bitter.
However there are a bunch of people named Frank on his side and Francis is a family name on my side - both of these names have the same meaning "Free man" so if we could find a similar feminine version that we both liked, we'd be set. Sadly, there aren't any of those style names I particularity love, but I'm sure something could grow on me in five months.
Enough on that.
Not the most recent weekend but the one before we went down to Nowra. It's three hours from here. And I drove it, there and back. And no one died. It felt amazing.
But yeah, it's probably a lost cause.