Back on to names for a moment (forgive me, it's a big part of my world just now) Obi spoke to my Aunt about how she always either just uses my old name or she'll use both at the same time, about how I hate it and every time I have to answer to that name it's like a slap in the face. She explained that she was just trying to respect my father (her brother) and that she remembered what his face looked like when he chose my name (which is really touching, I've only heard the story from mum's perspective and it was a lot different.) and he explained to her that I probably didn't know that but basically, she should probably respect me and my choices because I'm still alive. (He said it nicer though.) So hopefully that will be the end of that. I'm immensely grateful that he interceded. I usually don't let him get involved in family shit on my side because it ends badly, but this time I think it might have made a difference that I couldn't have made myself.

This weekend just passed was Chris's 30th. For the Saturday we all got season passes to Wet 'N' Wild and off we went. The park looks amazing, great ambiance. The boys hit the slides first and Bec and I looked after Isis, introducing her to the pool (at the man-made beach) and hanging out. It took her a while to warm up to it, but after a while she was content to be put down so she could walk through the water and splash. I was so proud.

I was just so happy! Even though upon later inspection it seems like there isn't a single slide at the place I'm actually allowed to go on because I'm pregnant. So I really had to pull on my "good sport" pants while everyone talked about how much fun they were having. The season ends before this pregnancy will and I've never been to the park of the same name that's a state north of here. But it was still great and I'm looking forward to going back. I might suss out what rides look tame and wear a big shirt to cover my bump and go anyway. Seriously, there's a ride my one year old is allowed to go on - but I'm not. Obviously it isn't that dangerous and they are just trying to avoid liability.

Anyway, part way through the day Chris started acting weird. This happens fairly often when we go places with him and I've learnt to more or less ignore it. It turned out that he was sick from his hang over and I guess one of the wild slides didn't agree with him. Instead of communicating though, he decided to sulk, and then Bec got angry and it went downhill from there.
Chris wanted to go to EB games after the water park to pick up Battlefield 4 for Obi - an early Christmas gift - so they could have a gaming day the next day (Chris's actual birthday). For some reason, this small errand was a big deal to Bec and she was heavily against it. Maybe because she wanted to spend time with him on his birthday instead, or maybe because she wanted to go straight to the blue mountains where we were meeting Angie for dinner (though if it's the last one, we had plenty of time as we were all ready to leave the park at that point anyway. It was pretty cold last weekend.)

It ended up in a massive awkward yelling match in the car park. We suggested so many things that could have fixed the problem like: we could go with Chris to EB and meet up with Bec later. Or (once some more arguing had passed and Chris decided he didn't want to go to dinner) we could drive him home so they could have time to cool down. Nothing worked. It was like they wanted to fight. In the end I made the executive decision to leave them there to sort their own shit out. Even so, we were half an hour late to dinner, and they were a full hour late. (which was ok because it turned out it was Angie's whole family, not just her and her mum like I expected)

But one thing really got to me... there was one part of the fight where my sister acted EXACTLY as our mum would have. And it was scary. I know they have a lot of similarities, but my mum (Gods rest her soul) was a psycho and there's some things you just don't want to emulate.

Moreover, why can't they just talk to each other like adults? I dunno. Anyway, they both came to dinner and acted mostly civil, but the next day Chris cancelled on Obi out of the blue and suddenly all our plans for the day were scrapped. The lasting awkwardness from the day before was really getting to us, Obi especially, and it turned into a long difficult day that reduced me to tears by the end of it. I felt I couldn't do anything right, try as I might to help Obi cheer up, and he was super critical of me all day. It was just... ugh! People don't realise how their fights effect others I guess. I worry about how witnessing that stuff will effect their kids, and to a lesser extent, mine.

But then, I grew up in a similar environment, and it was nothing that years of therapy couldn't fix.

Thinking of upbringing, I want to talk about kids and personal space. Though, it's better suited for a mum blog, and I bet I've reached the word limit here. It can wait.

One other thing I've been struggling to let go of, but haven't been able to:
Last time we went to the gym we did a class with this guy who has a thick accent. I've never been good with accents. I grew up in the back of Burke so perhaps that had something to do with it. Anyway, at the end of the class he said something that Bec didn't quite catch, so she asked me what it was. I laughed and admitted I didn't understand most of what he'd said in the past hour. And you know what she said to me "Well it's no wonder you don't have any friends!"
Uhm, what? Where did that come from? I do have friends. Ok, not that many, but still. Like, WTH? It really stung, probably because it was equal parts nasty and unexpected.

I didn't mean for this blog to be bagging on my sister, I guess a lot has gone down recently that I needed to air.