Christmas here was good. I worked Xmas eve, and then came home to do lots of preparation - cleaning mostly! - and was up cooking til past midnight. I was so excited, I had trouble falling asleep, even though I don't know what was exciting really. I couldn't pin-point anything that I was particularly looking forward to, just the whole event. I made a treasure hunt for Obi, and hid the clues around our apartment/building and was a bit nervous that I'd actually gotten the hints in the right order/places. It's much harder to be sneaky when he's home!

I woke up at the buttcrack of dawn all excited and couldn't go back to sleep for anything, which was annoying because I value sleep above many other things. If I'd have known, I'd have planned to cook everyone a hot breakfast (We had a Christmas breakfast this year instead of the big family dinner, because Bec n Chris had to go to his family's place out in the country the same day.)

Buy 8am I couldn't take it anymore. Bec was supposed to get over by 7:30, but we knew that wouldn't happen because she couldn't be on time to save her life, and Obi & Owlie were still in bed. So I went and woke him up to keep me company, and he was fantastic about it - which is very unusual! It was good because we got some quiet time together before the party started. The others arrived within the hour and Isis finally awoke for her morning routine. We were just finishing up breakfast when Obi's parents skyped in (I'd set it up for auto-accept so they could come and go) to join us.

And then there were presents. I got to be the person that crawls under the tree and hands gifts out to people this year. We sit in a circle and watch everyone open one present at a time, going in rounds until everyone runs out of stuff. It takes several hours! I don't understand what people must be doing when they post on facebook that it was all over in 20 minutes - mate, you're doing it wrong! lol The little owl was pooped before we got near the end, so we saved one of hers til later, let her open a bunch on her turn and then shipped her off to bed.

Ma always used to go on about how much better Christmas is when you have kids, but of course I never really got it until now. It does make a difference though, everything was just a bit more fantastic because my little girl was involved with it. She's old enough to unwrap things and to show if she likes what she got or not (The clothes were a "not" haha) clapping and smiling. Too much cute, you don't even know.

Anyway, watching how much everyone else liked their gifts was also awesome. It's the best part for me, seeing if people like what I chose for them. And they did. Chris was over the moon because I gave him something I knew very well Bec had forbidden him to get Obi wasn't disappointed, even though I struggled like nothing else with his gifts this year and made so many mistakes (The shirts I ordered came in size huge, so I had to ship them back and pay for smaller ones to be shipped out to me... The wine glasses... ugh, I'd bought the flutes, a set of six each with different coloured stems but there'd been no red wine glasses and the shop vowed they'd get them in for me. Which they did, in four colours, not six. I ended up going with pairs of three colours, but was still deeply irritated!) I'm sure the professional gaming mouse he found in his Christmas stocking was the highlight of his day though haha.

It was all kinds of great. And I really loved what I was given this year too, which isn't a necessity, but helped. Last year I got a lot of gifts I would have loved when I was fourteen, but not so much now that I'm an adult. This year I don't think I got anything I won't use/will regift. Anyway, I do kind of wonder what the in-laws thought, because gift giving in my family is a bit different to how they roll.

They still sit in a circle (though not on the floor because mum never vacuums) and go one by one. But no one person ever gives another more than one gift, whereas in my family we spoil each other. For example, I can't count how many presents I opened from my sister, there were that many of them. And they weren't small cheap things either. There was CK perfume, designer gym gear, noise isolating earphones - just to name a few. I wonder if they were secretly horrified that four people and a baby could go so overboard

For boxing day, we skyped in to their family dinner and gift exchange as they had for us, and it reminded me of another big difference. As their family is larger, (or maybe just lazier) several members pick a theme and give everyone roughly the same gift. For example one cousin gave everyone a bottle of booze, my SIL drew/painted everyone a picture (some were really stunning! I'm not dissing making gifts BTW, just noticing the sameness), one uncle got everyone a blue mini-backpack with stationary in it (lame), someone else gave only scarves. So it wasn't really exciting to find out what people were getting because it was all the same. It wasn't "Oh I know mum will love this!" it was "I can buy eight of these and be under budget". I just don't get it.

Another thing I don't get is this "gift exchange" thing. I never heard the question "are we exchanging gifts this year?" before I started making friends with north Americans, and it fills me with disgust. I'm sorry, but it does. You don't give something to get something. It's not a trade. And no there shouldn't be an agreed upon spending amount. If you want to give something to someone, you just DO. If they don't give you something back, you haven't lost out on the transaction. It doesn't need to be equal. It's the joy of giving not the joy of breaking even. Yes, some years are unbalanced. This year was a bit hard to see Bec being able to give all our nieces and nephews a gift each (we saw our half sister a week or so ago) when Obi and I could only afford to buy them one thing to share, but it was one awesome thing that I think the whole family will enjoy. (Lego make board games now, did you know?) I don't need to be a mathematician to know Bec spent more on me than I did on her but it doesn't matter because some years it's me with the fancy gifts and her with the home-made ones or hand-me-downs. In the end it works out equal, and if it doesn't we're still happy. We're happy to make each other happy. It's about making other people happy - wanting to make other people happy! My in laws asked us over skype if we were doing gifts this year, and that's more or less what I send to them too. I don't understand how such good Christians can have such selfish values.

I admit the consumerism thing is a big part of our Christmas. Now that I'm not Christian, and I can't even have some beers, it's probably the most important part. But it's not how people make out at all. It's not, and never has been, a greed thing with my family. It's not about the money. It's about giving, and laughing, and knowing someone well enough to know what will make them happy - what they want but could never justify buying for themselves. It's about the time and effort, it's about being creative, thinking up a new way to package a gift so it's sure to be a surprise. It's about making the treasure hunts, keeping something you bought in September hidden from your spouse in a tiny unit, it's about sharing everything you have even if what you have isn't very bloody much. It's about making time for each other.