It's good I waited a day to blog. I was in a very negative place before. I'm better now. Just the usual stuff too - money stress. Ugh, I just want it to be over so I have new things to complain about haha.

Like my sister in law. Haven't whinged about that chick in ages. I swear, the only time she updates her facebook status is to bludge things off people. I'm serious. Since the new year she's asked for several things, like "Does anyone have a Pandora bracelet they don't want anymore?" and "Oh I should have asked for Timmies gift cards for Christmas, I need some right now". She's also asked for housewares including a stove! and today it's "Does anyone have a sewing machine they are getting rid of?"
That last one actually concerns me, selfishly I know... but Obi's grandmother asked me just a few weeks ago if I sew (and I do. Badly, but I try! And it's all by hand because I don't own a machine) and she said she wanted to give me her old one, she'd save it for me for when we move back to Canada. Which was super sweet. It's also a good machine, nice brand, all that jazz. And now I'm afraid it'll end up with my SIL, who'll use it for a couple of months until the next fad takes her and then it'll be landfill or on Craigslist. I know she's blood family and I'm not, and Grandma can pass her stuff to anyone she likes... but still. So we'll see.

But seriously... how about you get a job, stop sponging off your endless string of boyfriends (ok, that's not fair, this one's been a year and the last one was like 2 and a half years... but still.. She always moves in with them and lets them support her financially) learn the value of hard work and money and stop scabbing things through facebook?!
But like...no, nobody's going to give you a $100 bracelet just because you're too cheap to invest in it yourself. Meanwhile, she hasn't worked for over a month because she's "too busy and stressed". Ok, she's doing (another) post-secondary degree and they work you to the bone when you study in Canada BUT her job is only one day a week and pays well when she bothers to show up. She's always complaining to me about how poor she is, meanwhile she flaunts her expensive hobbies (that she somehow has time for) and her designer clothes while I'm making yet another batch of cheap-arse curried sausages, my clothes are falling apart and I'm somehow supposed to find money to fly our family to her wedding that her dad happens to be paying for? Someone give me a two-by-four so I can knock some sense into this world I live in.

End rant.

Today was good. I got called in early for my shift, scoring an extra hour and it was easy work because this supervisor mistakenly thinks I'm on reduced capacity to work, when I'm actually fine, just round haha. So it was bludgy. Obi came shopping at the exact time I got my break, so I got to take my little Owl into the lunch room with me, where there were free hot cross buns. So we shared one. So damn cute. She held it in both hands, taking a bite, letting me have a bite, back and forth. (And it was big enough that there was a dry side for me to eat lol) too adorable.
And last night, I had the raunchiest dreams, like you don't even need to know, and so that made things between Obi and I a bit flirty. Which is amazing because I'm basically dead from the waist down and have been for months. It's been hard... I just want to go back to my horn-dog self. So today, I was almost interested... and that was nice.
Then I hung out with Bec, and for a change she wasn't all bitter and depressed (It's been very full on lately. I love her, but I'm going to have to put some distance if she doesn't stop offloading onto me soon. I know I sound selfish, but there's only so much anger and stored up hurt I can take on that isn't mine, you know?) and we had a great time.
I got my xmas card from Rach today and that was a lovely surprise because I didn't expect anything
I didn't have to cook and Obi kind of cleaned the kitchen. A good day all round!

Oh, and I looked at some realestate online and that was positive. There are houses in Canada - real houses with back yards! - in the city that are within the budget we have set for ourselves (in three years). It gives me hope. There's actually something in Canada that's better than here, something to look forward to. Yes, I know it's a long way away, but I have a lot of issues to work through, so best to crack them early!

And lastly... I'm having a baby. It feels very soon, probably because of the financial stress that goes with it But it's a good feeling. This pregnancy has been painful. She has really sharp elbows, like I can't even tell you. Sometimes I have to run and lay down to get her to move because I'll cry if I don't it's that bad. I'm really honestly excited about getting to go through labour again, I'm going to smash that shit this time! And every day I'm filled with wonder at how perfect Isis is, and I want more of that. I can't wait. I know that's sickening and I'm sorry. I'll stop now.

But yes, good things are coming. I have to believe that.