I've always been a lucky person. But lately, I kind of feel like my luck has run out.

Like today. So, like you know if you read my blog, we're going on a cruise the week after next. Or, we are supposed to be. Now I know people like to hassel pregnant women when they travel because every bastard is afraid they'll wind up holding a placenta, so I knew I'd need a "fit to travel" certificate. I downloaded myself a nice little cruise handbook from the company and went on my merry way to finding out exactly what I need my doctor to say. And then I read this charming piece that goes "Pregnant passengers will not be allowed on board if they have entered or will enter their 24th week of pregnancy before the end of the voyage."

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I'll be thirty weeks pregnant before I get ON the goddamned ship! Why did nobody tell me this?! When we booked at the cruise expo I was very clear about being pregnant. And the travel agent went ahead and booked us up anyway. Chris reckons he's spoken to the flight centre rep today and he said that if I'm under 30 weeks I'll be fine to go - so who do we believe?

I could much easier pass for, say 26 weeks pregnant than I could for 22.

Normally, being the dishonest soul that I am, I'd be happy to forge a doctor's certiciate with a later due date and be done with it, but you only have to look at me to know I'm what the third trimester is made out of. I will probably spend some time googling how to hide a baby bump, as futile as it's likely to be...
I'm 100% healthy. I'm low risk. I'm completely fine. I'm not about to go spraying babies, placenta and milk all over the place. And a cruise is about as safe and laid back as it gets. This rule does not even make sense!

What about Bec and Chris? Will they still go if I can't? I'd hope so, but we got a deal by booking together, so I don't know how that works. Obi says he wouldn't want to go without me. And that would certainly suck having my husband and baby gone for ten days... I've already taken leave from work. Can I like... get a refund on that?

But yes, to say I'm in a bit of a panic is an understatment. WHY DID NOBODY WARN ME? I don't see us being able to get a refund on the cruise (I don't believe we got insurance, but I didn't book it, I just gave Chris a bunch of money) and an exchange would be useless to us as the ship also doesn't allow babies under a year old. By the time Simmy is a year, I'll be knocked up again anyway (though, likely not in the third Tri). Hello stress. No I guess I didn't have enough of you in my life already.

This is of course on top of Obi not having a job - the only sniff of work he's gotten would be in LONDON, and he's not about to leave me if he'll miss the birth. Which I'm grateful about.

And of course, neither of us have our computers any more either. His had been playing up for a while, turning off randomly and the like. Then one day, it just couldn't turn on again. The power would light up the fans for a second and then.. nothing. So he tests all his pieces using my almost-identical machine. Figures out his CPU is stuffed. I tell him to check the motherboard while he's at it, because those things go hand in hand. So he checks his motherboard with my CPU and blows up my CPU in the process. I kinda had a feeling it was going to happen, and had been cracking a joke about it to Isis only a few minutes before.

Of course, we don't have the money to replace these things for the foreseeable future. So thank the Gods for my old HP laptop. I got this thing in 09 and though she's slowing down, she's keeping us sane. And teaching us how to share >.>

I've also had massive fear issues as I get myself used to the idea of birthing in a hospital. Which of course I can't really talk to anyone about because no bastard supported my home birth last time except Obi, and he just feels guilty as shit every time I mention not being able to do it this time.
So yeah, feeling pretty fucked in my life right now and the thing that was giving me hope and a bit of a reprieve (this cruise) now also seems out of reach.

I can't take much more of this.