Day 5 was also a port day, we stopped at Lifou. This was the island I was most keen on, because I'd read online there were caves. I love caves. There's supposed to be one with a big black hole, you can't see the bottom, you just have to jump... perfect for my adventurous sibling. Now, we didn't book any tours from on the boat because it's common knowledge that the locals will give you the same tour for a fraction of the price. Unfortunately, that backfired in this particular place, because there's three nations of people on Lifou, and those in the place the ship landed us weren't allowed to go into the part where the caves were. Bec and Chris took a 'tour' to the other side of the island where there was more snorkelling, but it would have been a waste of money for us, so we didn't go along. Finding food on Lifou was a challenge, and we'd been advised to take our own bottled water too, because their water wasn't safe to drink. Let me draw you a picture. The tenders (little boats that ferry passengers from the cruise ship) docked at the bottom of a slight hill. As you walk up the gravel path there are a few tents selling wares, mostly massages and hair braiding and then you come to the centre market. The market is two large pavilions, about the size of a double garage each, and then on the other side of some bushes (seriously) is a cafe. This cafe sells beer, coke, and magnum ice cream. Nothing else. While the baby napped we treated ourselves to said ice cream. Even though they were $5 each. It was hot! And a little romantic. It was good to have time alone together where I wasn't feeling like arse.

One of the big pavilions sold souvenirs and the other was dedicated to food of the most dubious variety. There were pre-prepared subs sporting mayo and meat laid out on tables, no refrigeration or even ice in sight despite the heat. Flies and other bugs crawled all over the fruit on display, which would have been fine, but most of it had been cut or peeled in advance. There were a row of electric crock-pots with different curries which may or may not be safe, a couple of deep fryers selling chips and a lady in the corner barbequing chicken skewers. I saw her meat was actually coming out of an esky so that was like the high of luxury right there. I wasn’t hungry enough to risk eating anything, I could wait.
When Isis was awake we spent most of our time in the water. The day before I’d forgotten to collect my bikini from Bec upon returning to the ship, so I hadn’t had it to wash and dry; thus it wasn’t under my clothes, so I had to change before I could swim. I couldn’t figure out where to do that (and you have to pay for the bathrooms there – apparently that’s a French thing from their French colonisation) so I half hid under a droopy tree and changed on the beach despite the old local guy who was content to watch and laugh.

I liked the beach better on Isle of Pines though. This one had more dead coral and sharp things so I couldn’t sit in the water with Isis. We tried. As the tide came and went it cut my arse to pieces. Fun. It was good to be in the water though, because any time you got out you started to die from the heat. Australia has nothing on the south pacific!

There was something amiss with Bec and Chris when they got back, but we didn’t know what. They bicker a lot in general though, so nothing we’re not used to. Bec decided to take that out on Obi, because he asked to borrow a towel (to shade Isis with, because she was starting to lose the plot, not to actually use) but he didn’t take the bait and it didn’t escalate, thank the Gods. She’s still going on about the run-in they had three Christmases ago, and I don’t need the stress.
Turned out that part of the issue was that on the way back from their tour, the other couple that was with them had been having a disagreement. Apparently, she’d taken her camera into the water mistaking “water resistant” for “water proof” and it wasn’t working, so she wanted to check the memory card in her partner’s camera. For some reason, she turned on his camera without first taking out his memory card, and the first thing on there was a video – which she (and Chris, who was looking over her shoulder) proceeded to view. It was a video taken on the pool deck of the ship, focusing on women’s breasts, narrated by this guy going “Ooo yeah,” “Hello baby” and that kind of thing. I think it’s hilarious, but obviously this poor chick didn’t. Anyway, so the tension overflow from that couple had upset Bec and Chris. We found this out at dinner that night when they were complaining about people arguing in front of strangers and how awkward it is, and how rude.

And I just thought that was the most hypocritical shit in the world because as you know if you follow my blog, they fight all the time no matter who is around, including in front of my brat – name calling and all – and no matter how many times you tell them it makes you uncomfortable they don’t give a flying crap. There was a big discussion what is more awkward – witnessing fights between people you know or people you don’t. Feel free to weigh in with your opinion in the comments.

That random chick wasn’t the only person to take their non-waterproof camera swimming that day. Sadly, Obi did too. Which blows. But hey, it was a free camera (he got it with his frequent flier points) and the memory card is (I assume) fine, so not a huge loss.

Back on the beach, Isis was totally over it with exhaustion. The only thing that seemed to calm her was if I stood and held her like she was a little baby and swayed side-to-side. It was beautiful, a great mum-moment (I’m sure you wish I wouldn’t share them, but too bad. It’s not boring to me haha) but one that couldn’t last as both of us needed to put some clothes on and return to the ship (and catch the buffet before it closed!) I don’t want to forget it though. I felt so loved with her collapsed against me skin to skin. My baby isn’t much of a baby anymore.