The people I stalk the most have not blogged in ages. What's up with that? Mlle, it's been more than a week, right? What's going on?

Here's what's happening on the home front: This past Tuesday my Father in law finally went home. He was here, without his wife, for a month. Which is, in case you were wondering, way too fucking long. Luckily we're in a two bedroom unit now, and it's large. But at this point I'm starting to think a mansion won't be large enough to cope with these extended visits.

Be warned, rant incoming.

Canadians are famed for being nice, the world over I'm sure. But what I'm also coming to learn is that they are fucking rude. Oh, they don't cuss or call you a bastard as a sign of friendship, but they do other more disgusting, sneaky things. The only people I have ever known who think it's funny to stand in front of a fan and rip off a massive fart, for example, are Canadians. Of course, it could just be the small section of the Canadian population I'm exposed to. Maybe there's something in the water in that part of the country that addles their sensibilities? I do not know.

Here's a prime example: Basically every day, at different times, I'd be like "I'm going to get a snack bowl for this minion, then I'm going to change this other minion..." Or whatever. I'm always giving Isis a list of what is happening next in her day, it helps her be patient. And For some reason everyone in Obi's family need a play-by-play. Like they update you on when they are making themselves a coffee (but they never offer to make you one too - rude) or when they are going to shower or how many emails they got that morning.
Tangent. Anyway, so I'll make it clear that I'm going into the bathroom area in a minute to change a nappy, or put a fresh change of clothes on Selene because messiest child ever born... and right before I can, at least once a day, he'd run in there and drop the foulest shit you've ever smelt. EVERY TIME.

Now growing up we only had one bathroom, and there was an unspoken rule that if you were going to do something time consuming or stinky you would give everyone else the option to use the bathroom first (unless they were dropping their own logs and then first to speak was first to crap lol) but somehow this courtesy never occurred to this man who tells me every other thing he's going to do in his boring arse day.
On the last day here, he did it to Obi though, and Obi called him on it. So I got a bit of a laugh at least.

I was mad jealous too. I'm back at work, working three days a fortnight like a loser, and one of my customers comes in and we're exchanging in-laws stories because her MIL was down at the same time my FIL was. Except she'd just been to the salon, looked fabulous, and was going out for a date night with her husband while her mother in law looked after the kids.
Not once during his whole stay did he give us a night off. Even though camping Grandma sent a bunch of money and encouraged him to watch the kids while we had dinner on her. Nope, he came along on that dinner, meaning the kids went too, and I spent the time not relaxing but keeping my brats from stopping other people from relaxing. This money was supposed to be a year's worth of birthdays, Christmases etc for our whole little tribe.
I told myself it was just that he wanted to spend every moment he could with us... but I couldn't explain away why not ONE morning did he get up with Selene (she wakes at around 7:15am religiously) so that Dustin and I could cuddle and sleep in an extra hour. I mean by the time the sound comes through the baby monitor and one of us gets up he's got to be at least partially awake right? There were mornings he got up five minutes after I went in and got her... why? Why would it have been so hard to change her bum and nuke her a small bowl of porridge and let us rest?

Because I only work weekends it meant I was with him ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, HYUNDAI. haha. No but seriously. If his wife had come too they might have gone out for coffee or to see the city. But he didn't. He just hung around like a miasma.

But, I did put paid to the staring pretty quick. Remember last time he came down just after I popped Selene I complained because I'd tried to nap on the lounge, and instead of reading a book or playing video games or going out he just sat in a chair and watched me as the sun gradually set? Like a creeper? Well I was having none of that shit this time.

I was sitting in my chair one morning (it was my morning to get up with Selene, Obi and I take turns) sick as a freaking dog and trying to convince myself I could make it to this mummy date when he came out form the bedroom to give me a reason. We say good morning to each other, then he comes and stands beside my chair, and watches me. I wait for him to say something or go away. He doesn't. 30 odd seconds later I'm like ok.. "Can I help you?"
him: "No."
me: "Then stop bloody staring at me, it's much too early for your bullshit"

He didn't talk to me for the rest of the morning, and every time I caught him staring for the rest of the trip he had the grace to look away. Worth it.

Ok, I totally know what you're thinking "Come on Miriam, you can't honestly be complaining about this petty shit" and I agree. I am ashamed of myself a bit. But I saved the best til last too. In light of the following story, everything else might make more sense as to why I was glad to send the man packing.

So, I've been sick. Very sick. I can hardly eat and have lost at least 4kgs. (I only check my weight at the gym and I've been unable to go this week, so this was at last check) There were a couple of times I sat down and then just passed out. Naps happened to me without my choosing. Like nap assault. There were a couple of days I was grateful the FIL was here because otherwise I'd have had to ask Bec or Obi to take time off work to look after the kids. Though these days you can kind of just leave food and water on the floor and they take care of themselves for the most part
I'm sure everyone who knows me and can do rudimentary math can figure out why I'm not at my best.

It's a secret though. We haven't told anyone, and I'm not yet 12 weeks. I don't want the attention. I feel very protective right now, I just want privacy... you know? And I don't want my work to find out until I can't hide it any more because I don't like being treated like I'm disabled. I'm not ready for the pressure that I know will come.

Of course I could either let my FIL believe I was slowly dying, or I could do the right thing and tell him the truth. So, I went with the latter. And we were both very specific on the DON'T TELL ANYONE thing. He agreed, said he understood, yadda yadda. That was fine for a bit over a week, and then one night I'm sitting down to emails and facey at the end of a long day, and lo and behold I have an email from my mother in law congratulating me on "Surviving morning sickness again" complete with a picture of my sister in law's cat taken when she was on the toilet. Er, thanks for that. Meanwhile, I haven't survived anything. I feel like death, and I look it too. Random strangers stop and ask me if I'm ok. Yes, I'm serious.

So I turn to him and rip him a new one. And he's like "Yes I knew you'd be angry. But I had the choice of making you angry or facing mum's anger when I got home and hadn't told her." Uh, FUCKING WHAT?

If he had of asked if he could tell her I'd have said yes, or I'd have asked him to let Obi do it. But he didn't ask. He just assumed I'd forgive him.

He didn't apologise (because he wasn't sorry I guess). I did apologise for being rude to him, not for what I said, but how I said it... but the next day was still awful. It was just so awkward. He hardly spoke to me, but still didn't leave the house, and I had to be nice to him in front of the kids... that night after he went to bed Dustin pulled me aside and was all "Why is it so awkward here?!"
It has to be bad for him to notice.

The next day mum, who rarely bothers to speak to me, sends me four emails with pictures from her "hike" (it's a flat trail in a bit of forest on the edge of town.) and the same message "Enjoy the last bit of his visit". Hint hint. I know what you're getting at woman. So I was, again, honest. I told her it was awkward, that he'd done the wrong thing and that I was deeply hurt. I don't trust easily, but I had a lot of respect for this man... this man who deliberately hurt me, because my privacy in my own home becomes moot when I'm carrying their grandchild. #justanoven
No apology there either. Sends me this lecture about how family means love and forgiveness. Uh, no, thank you. How about love and respect. I have a lot more use for respect than forgiveness. Then she's like "I should have been there, I'd have known anyway"

Yeah, not because I chose it, but because I'm half fucking dead and you people don't know how to book a damn hotel. Anyway... I explain to her that I don't care that she knows, I care how she found out. I care because it's RUDE to share forward this kind of personal information without the couple's consent. Did they learn nothing two and a bit years ago when Amanda outed me on facebook for being pregnant with Isis?

Meanwhile Amanda's had a lot of personal issues and I knew hearing that I was pregnant would be hard for her. I wanted to do something special to soften the blow, but because mum has a big trap and I can't trust her, I had to speed up telling Amanda, lest she think I was hiding it from only her.

Ugh. So yeah, the last week was... I don't have a word for how much I hated it. It culminated in a final family dinner, which FIL selected to be sushi, despite the fact you can't eat that when you're pregnant. Wonderful.

So yes, there's my big news! Baby 3 on the way Happy! Keep it off facebook, for the love of all that is holy. Most of our family and friends don't know.

Looks like Selene is awake early. Shame, I have more I'd like to ramble about. Next time!
Hope you're all well xx