SKYPE DATE PLANNING

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

We are pretty spontaneous, don't plan things, so our contact is rather sporadic and hit or miss. That works OK for chat, and we usually chat almost every day, off and on. Skype is spontaneous, too, often an extension from chat. But, I would really love to have regular Skype Dates with my SO. The problem is he works 70 hours a week, and has family responsibilities, and goes out occasionally with his friends to the football games and to the Football Club, and to movies, and he likes bike riding, golf, and going to the beach. It's a wonder he has any time for us, but I know he gives me as much time as he can, but still I would like to talk him into having a weekly or semi-weekly Skype Date, where we could actually do something fun or romantic, or even just talk for more than a few minutes at a time.

Have any of you been successful in planning time for regular Skype Dates, even with very busy lives with lots of distractions and interruptions? How do you do it? And how can I help my SO understand the importance of more regular communication, and time to have fun?

[Zapookie]

My SO and I have one day per week in which we are both not working. On this day I often have errands to run, but we try to use this day talk as much as possible. Even still, the talking doesn't always happen and we have to wait a full week until we are free again. When I get off work, it is midnight in California and my SO is usually asleep by then or getting in bed as I'm arriving home. When I am going to sleep, that's when he wakes up for work. It's been difficult not having much contact but we try to text throughout the day. I have spoken to my SO about it countless times but often there is little we can do to change it without one person sacrificing large amounts of sleep.

[CanadianGirl]

My SO and I had periods where both of us were insanely busy, and along with our usual schedule, we'd have random things come up which made it hard to plan around. He'd rarely request to Skype because he was worried about cutting into my study time, so it was up to me to figure something out. I just told him it was hard for me to go much longer than three days without seeing his face and that I tended to never study in the last hour before going to bed, so we worked with that. He told me that he expected to hear from me before lunch time everyday (texting), so I made that a priority. It wasn't so much about literally pencilling each other in, but talking about our expectations.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

My SO and I have one day per week in which we are both not working. On this day I often have errands to run, but we try to use this day talk as much as possible. Even still, the talking doesn't always happen and we have to wait a full week until we are free again. When I get off work, it is midnight in California and my SO is usually asleep by then or getting in bed as I'm arriving home. When I am going to sleep, that's when he wakes up for work. It's been difficult not having much contact but we try to text throughout the day. I have spoken to my SO about it countless times but often there is little we can do to change it without one person sacrificing large amounts of sleep.

I see we have a bit in common, the Aussie-American connection. For us, it's a problem with time, too. My Aussie man is 15 hours ahead of me. I'm the one who, for 4 years, has been losing sleep. Sometimes I'm exhausted from trying to keep up with him, and keep some semblance of a normal life in my own time zone. I'm retired, so I thought, since I'm naturally a night owl anyway, I could get away with staying up all night, and sleeping late the next day. Theoretically, that should work, but, people don't get it, and things come up, unexpected, so I don't sleep as long as I sometimes need to. And if he works late, I stay up even later than I should. But we like going to bed at the same time, and I sleep better when we do. We have talked numerous times about how we can handle the time better, but can't seem to work it out, because of too many distractions and interruptions. Like the old Beatles song: Obla di, Obla da, Life Goes On.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

My SO and I had periods where both of us were insanely busy, and along with our usual schedule, we'd have random things come up which made it hard to plan around. He'd rarely request to Skype because he was worried about cutting into my study time, so it was up to me to figure something out. I just told him it was hard for me to go much longer than three days without seeing his face and that I tended to never study in the last hour before going to bed, so we worked with that. He told me that he expected to hear from me before lunch time everyday (texting), so I made that a priority. It wasn't so much about literally pencilling each other in, but talking about our expectations.

We haven't really ever discussed specifics of what we would like in communications, so it's rather sporadic, and depends on how busy he is. I adjust to his schedule, but the interruptions drive me up the wall sometimes. Yet, I know he has no control over it, with the nature of his job, and his family responsibilities. I do wish we could Skype more regularly, and more often, but he is always concerned about the data and the cost with his mobile plan. For me, it's no problem, because I use my laptop, and Skype is free for me, and I don't have to worry about data, because my Internet is part of my utilities bundle, and I have my own Wifi.

[LittleBox]

Yikes, 15 hours is an awful time spread. Its always best to schedule time for a Skype Date so that you can both plan your day/week around that dedicated time and make sure you can devote an hour or two to each other. Consider watching a movie together and have the same snack or play a game (Pictionary is never dull!). It will give you both something to look forward to rather than having the hit-and-miss connection.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Yikes, 15 hours is an awful time spread. Its always best to schedule time for a Skype Date so that you can both plan your day/week around that dedicated time and make sure you can devote an hour or two to each other. Consider watching a movie together and have the same snack or play a game (Pictionary is never dull!). It will give you both something to look forward to rather than having the hit-and-miss connection.

That's what I'm hoping we can do. I'm flexible with my time, but it will be more of a challenge for him to actually make plans for some uninterrupted time for us.

[rhabdoviridae]

We chat every night on Facetime unless one of us is out super late (though we're only one hour's time difference). It isn't exactly fair that you should have to be the one missing sleep all of the time, but it sounds as though it's a compromise you've reached due to the busier nature of his day to day life. That being said, I don't think it's unreasonable for him to miss a fun outing with his friends once in a while in order to Skype with you regularly. With such a busy schedule, it's a matter of making the time.

Maybe start out by planning a Skype date at a pretty wide interval to get him into the habit of shuffling his activities around just a little bit - maybe putting the kids to bed a little earlier, or eating breakfast a little later (just some random examples). Then gradually decrease the interval until you find one that makes you happy but that he can still reasonably accommodate.

[nottheprincesspeach]

Planning times for every week isn't very successful. However, planning week by week or even day by day works better for us. Communicating and finding time to shuffle around works pretty well for us.

[80anthea]

We only have one day a week where we're both free and the time difference is okay to get a decent skype session in. If we didn't plan this once a week then we wouldn't get to skype so it's a must for us. The rest of the time we snatch quick phone calls where we can and text (viber) when we're at work.

[MyHindiHeart]

Regular Skype dates, no... But planning does happen sometimes. Since we live so far away, neither of us can predict when we will be free for the other - so usually it's within 15 minutes.
"Hey baby, are you free in 15 minutes? Skype?"

[Gingerlyme]

It is hard if he has to pay for communications, it can be an ongoing problem. Is it possible for him to invest in a computer/tablet/laptop with internet or free wifi plan?

I used to skype almost daily for at least an hour and also have friday movie nights weekly. But after going through a short break, we have mixed things up a little.

1) We talk on skype once or maybe twice a week, just so to have some face time.
2) We text nightly after work just to see how the day went
3) about to re-establish movie nights. boyfriend really likes rom-com which is a yay for me

personally i think skype dates are really important, the face time for me is huge and i need to see his face.
but no date nights for me either, or we dont consider it date nights. its just time spent together.

But we are keeping things slow for now, in 2 months i am possibly moving from Japan to Australia where he is but in a different state (1 hour flight away) , so we are trying to figure out monthly visits for when that happens.