Trying To End The Distance...

[lovergirl443]

Hey everyone,

Without going into too much detail, I (21 F) will say that my SO's (23 M) living arrangements right now are not very stable/healthy for him. He is very unhappy where he is and collectively, we have decided that it is in his best interest for him to move to my city. There are no school or work opportunities where he is, but we have already found him a job up here that he can start at next month. The problem is him actually getting here. Moving 1,500 miles to New York is costly and on top of that, he needs a new car.

Right now he is doing some work for his step father to make a little side money, which we are hoping will be enough. I am going to grad school, and and making enough to get by, but not enough to cover him getting out of the toxic environment that he is in. So... any advice? How did you do it?

[Hollandia]

Hey everyone,

Without going into too much detail, I (21 F) will say that my SO's (23 M) living arrangements right now are not very stable/healthy for him. He is very unhappy where he is and collectively, we have decided that it is in his best interest for him to move to my city. There are no school or work opportunities where he is, but we have already found him a job up here that he can start at next month. The problem is him actually getting here. Moving 1,500 miles to New York is costly and on top of that, he needs a new car.

Right now he is doing some work for his step father to make a little side money, which we are hoping will be enough. I am going to grad school, and and making enough to get by, but not enough to cover him getting out of the toxic environment that he is in. So... any advice? How did you do it?

What state is he moving from? Would he let you lend him a few bucks for a ticket so you two can split it? Where will he live when he moves? He could look at being a maintenance man in an apartment complex to cover his rent. It would be best to have him buy a car in the state where you are and not where he is and drive up. He is going to have to title and register in the state he lives in ( I was in titles for cars in USA for years). It would cost him more to title in one state and then have to re-register in yours when he moves there. His best bet is too find somewhere to live where you are and locate a job, then save up the money for a ticket and come to you. Once he gets a new drivers license in your state, he can buy a car and title and register it in your state. If he has an old car, he can sell it to put towards his ticket and then once he is settled in his new job start saving up for his new car.

[differentcountries]

How much stuff does he need to move? If he can give away ,sell or keep some things with his family it should be cheaper.

does he have place to stay in ny?

why does he need car?

[lovergirl443]

He doesn't have too much stuff. His goal is to get a decent car, fill it up with his stuff, and drive here. I'm sure some of it will stay with his family. He won't be bringing any furniture or anything. We planned it this way because the job he lined up here requires him to have a car.

We have leads on places to stay. That is the main thing we are focusing on at the moment. I can't exactly move out right not and he an't stay here long term, but he can stay here for a bit if he needed to. I also have a few friends that have offered short term couches if we become that desperate.

[lovergirl443]

He is moving from Mississippi. The car he has now doesn't run. And the job he has lined up here requires him to have a car... which is why we are planning it this way. It might cost more in re-registering, but we won't have to pay to ship all of his things across the country. He can just pack up the car and be on his way. We also have a few leads on places for him to live, with temporary places set in case it comes to that.

[Hollandia]

He doesn't have too much stuff. His goal is to get a decent car, fill it up with his stuff, and drive here. I'm sure some of it will stay with his family. He won't be bringing any furniture or anything. We planned it this way because the job he lined up here requires him to have a car.

We have leads on places to stay. That is the main thing we are focusing on at the moment. I can't exactly move out right not and he an't stay here long term, but he can stay here for a bit if he needed to. I also have a few friends that have offered short term couches if we become that desperate.

If he buys a new car where he is at, he will need to title and register the car in the state that he lives in now. He will pay the state percentage of the tax times the blue book value of the car unless the purchase price is comparable or from a dealer. I titled cars in most of continental USA because we sold luxury high line cars to people around the USA. Once he gets his tags and he has somewhere to live and he drives up, he will have about 30-90 days (some more some less, depending on state) to change his drivers license and to pay New York state to register and title his car there. Depending upon which state is higher he might only have to pay the difference. He will have to pay to title it in both states and to register it in both states. If cash is tight, make sure he knows the fees up front. The can really add up just to buy a tag and a title in most states for one year is over 50 bucks.

The main thing he needs to do is know what the new car will cost, and take into account all taxes and tags for that, but also to contact the local DMV of where he will be moving to and find out exactly all the costs it be for him to move to NY state both for his car and license. He will need to have proof of residence to get a new new license as well. He can drive on the old license and old tags for a bit, but if he gets pulled over for anything with out of state tags and an in state address, it could cause him to get a ticket and/or fine.

[lovergirl443]

It's definitely a lot to think about. I will let him know all of this though! Thank you!

[Redheart14]

This might sound mean (I don't mean to be) but how important is his stuff? I just moved over 1,100 miles for work. I sold and gave away a lot of stuff that isn't crucial to me at present. I'll re buy it once I'm back on my feet and have saved a bit of money. Obviously I kept the treasures items but it made moving a lot easier and gave me a little bit of extra money to work with. Can he sell some of it?

[lovergirl443]

He really isn't planning on bringing too much stuff. However, he really doesn't own much more to sell either. His mother is taking all of his furniture (there is some for him here already), so he really just needs his day to day basics and things that he holds dear to his heart. The only things I could possibly see him selling are his drums and his computer, neither of which he would dare part with.