This is my first blog post on here as it's not something I've ever really felt like doing but am wondering if it will help to write somethings down.

I'd say 75% of the time I'm not in person with my SO I'm fine, I mean I miss him and think about him a lot but I have a busy job and life and life just ticks on. Then some days it just seems to hit me hard that yes I could call him, e-mail him etc but all I really want to do is be close enough to actually touch him.

I absolutely love our relationship, despite only meeting two times so far we are very close and communicate multiple times a day about anything and everything, from trivial things like the weather to emotional things like how he's feeling about his Dad's death. We are a strong couple, I know that and I know this situation is just one that we both want to be as temporary as possible. But sometimes this whole relationship just sucks.

I think how it would be simpler if I was in a relationship with someone in my town, or even somewhere I could drive/train it to regularly but then I don't want that relationship. I want a relationship with my SO and no-one else, I don't care that it's tough most of the time because the pleasure I get from it far outway the negatives but I just wish I could see him more that's all

Pah, that didn't really help....I thought writing was therpeutic. Stupid fucking Atlantic Ocean, stupid fucking his ancestors for getting on a boat to the colonies, stupid fucking my ancestors for not getting on a boat to the colonies, stupid fucking airplane price tickets, stupid fucking continental drift for not leaving the North American plate closer to the Euroasian one, stupid fucking brain for having the ability to think and therefore miss people.

Swearing and ranting didn't help either, I give up