I've posted about my mental health problems on here before but recently I've been having major relapses, so much so that I haven't been working but have been having to attend a day hospital unit everyday so they can keep an eye on me. I'm not sure what started the episode but in hindsight it had been building since before Christmas and then all came to a head just after New Year. However, I have now been discharged from the unit and trying to go through the rehabilitation to get back to normal life but that's a way off. One thing I am very good at is covering it all up so I can appear quite normal and stable on the outside but be going through racing thoughts and utter turmoil on the inside, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Two positives out of the whole experience is that in the unit I met some truly wonderful people, the doctor I'm now under is awesome and for the first time in my life I feel like a medical professional understands me. The second is my SO....he has been truly awesome, more so than I ever predicted he could be. He has been supportive, understanding, patient and ever present; he gives me more hope than any medication/therapy. At the same time he can also treat me like me usual self, he doesn't just get absorbed with the illness like some friends can, we can still have our regular conversations like he can see completely past the illness. He is amazing and I feel truly lucky for knowing him
There are some obvious pretty major negatives too which I'm still struggling with:
- my daughter has had to go and stay with her Dad during the week which I am absolutely hating
- I need to get strong enough to get back to work asap before my savings run out and so that I am earning enough to sponsor my SO through the Visa process.
Life is too complicated!
Do something for yourself that you like, no matter how small. Fave ice cream and movie or what ever makes you feel good.