Advanced warning this will be moany and miserable.

So, I've been very physically ill over the past few days. I'm still in hospital but hoping to escape very soon. Having been in control of my mental health for a while now but this episode has made me very very down again. I just want my SO here with me. He has been very sweet and recorded himself reading my favourite story so I can listen to a new chapter each night but it's not the same as him being with me.

Normally I cope okay with the distance, I just accept it and get on with life but now I have time to think and I'm unwell I'm struggling. I haven't seen him since May which seems a very long time ago now, we won't see each other over Christmas again, we haven't for the three years been together for any holiday/occasion. I just want someone with a magic wand to make life okay again, or at least make me better so my normal thinking returns!!!!