How do you deal with family while being international? How do I tell them?

Alle1770 started a blog post How do you deal with family while being international? How do I tell them?
December 28, 2013, 04:57 PM
How do you deal with family while being international? How do I tell them?

So, before all the serious stuff... Got a new laptop as a Christmas gift which was amazingly awesome! I had my other one for 6 years before it finally broke down on me a couple months back. Finally I have my own computer and I can start blogging again/fixing pictures from the trip to upload here

Anyways, I'm having issues with how to deal with my family... They are so happy I'm back home, and so am I. But now, I'm torn between two places, two continents, two families. A part of me is always missing, wether I'm here in Sweden or in Argentina. Either I have no friends or family around, or I'm missing the love of my life, plus my dog. It sucks.

Thing is, I want to go back to Argentina, and so does the BF. And we're planning on me to go back around (possibly) the end of February. But.... I don't know how to tell my family. I just got home, and I'm scared they will see it as a "betrayal" or something that I'm leaving so soon again. Thing is, I have to be back early June for exams and stuff (taking an online course in Law), so I would only be gone for 3 months this time, not 5 and a half. But still, I don't know how to tell them without it becoming a huge scene and discussion.

I'm 19 and it's my life, legally I can do what I want really, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like a complete asshole towards my family and friends anyways. I love all of them, but I love my SO too. If I leave, I break their hearts. If I stay, I break my SO's heart.

Being international really blows sometimes. I was just hoping maybe some of you guys out there have any advice? You're an awesome community that I'm very grateful to be a part of - just wondering if I'm alone in feeling like this? Didn't feel like it was important enough to start a thread about, but yeah.

Thanks in advance! Here's a happy picture from when my friends suprised me at my house when I came home
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8 comments
- #6
  
  jana89 commented
  
  December 29, 2013, 03:59 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Yes, being international sucks, as Squeeker says. Me and my SO have set the date of me moving to Denmark on summer 2014 and as the date is coming closer, my mum is acting like crazy and franticaly tries to find me a new bf in my hometown or close surrounding. I understand it is hard for her as a mother, as she feels like losing me, but it is also hard for me, to see her doing such things. I think the only way how to deal with this is to give parents time to see you are happy where you are and then they will - hopefully - accept it. I am also trying to explain to my mum again and again, that I will be still coming home once a while and that she will always be welcomed there. ..... well, once again, being international sucks.
- #7
  
  80anthea commented
  
  December 29, 2013, 07:32 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  I have no advice but this is something that really worries me about my SO coming here to live, I know he'll miss his Mom and his Mom will miss him a lot too. He's an adult and it's his choice to come here but I know that a part of him will always miss America and I can't help but feel guilty about that. Someone on here (I'm sorry I can't remember who) made a really good suggestion to me about always making sure you have somewhere stashed in a savings account enough money for an emergency flight so if anything ever happens in the family / to SO whilst you're on a different continent you know you can be there.
- #8
  
  Alle1770 commented
  
  December 29, 2013, 04:38 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Thank you everyone for giving me some insight and thoughts around this situation! It's really a weight off my shoulders to know I'm at least not alone
  
  Are your future plans involving moving to Argentina permanently? Is that what you really want to do? If so, you should spend as much time as you can there, to make absolutely sure you'd be happy there.
  
  I am planning to move there eventually, even if it might be a couple years down the road. But I know that I will be "stuck" here in Sweden for university studies in a year or two, so I figured this year - my sabbatical if you will - would be a good opportunity to spend a lot of time over there to see what it would be like to live there, and to live with my SO. So yeah, I'm definitely considering this and trying to spend a lot of time there!
  
  You will always have two homes, two families. You will never be in both places at one time. Just take some time and make a decision. And remember- it's not permanent. You can always visit where ever you are not living.
  
  Thank you for some encouraging words LB I suppose that's some of the beauty of it as well, I guess I should consider myself lucky that I get to have two homes, two cultures, two families and to be able to experience another country. It's easy to see past that when obstacles arise, so thank you for reminding me
  
  Thank you everyone, again. It's nice to know I'm not alone and to get some insight on the matter. I will definitely try to tell my family/SO in advance whenever a trip is coming up, that's a given. In the end, it's all up to me. Just gotta make a decision, which is the hard part :P
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How do you deal with family while being international? How do I tell them?