My job has never been easy, in fact my first day of training I held the door open for a body going out. That should have been a sign that maybe this wasn’t the job for me, that slowly it would rip my heart to shreds. I work as a CNA in a local nursing home inside the dementia or memory unit, and have since I was sixteen the job over the years has had its ups and downs. Usually we lose a couple of residents around the holiday season, but this year we seemed to lose a whole bunch within a couple of weeks and it has completely crushed me.

Now this is the part for me which was hard, my boyfriend has never been good with the emotional support and when I come home crying nearly every day for two weeks it puts a strain on him to ‘cheer me up’ even though I assure him I just need some time to grieve. Then I feel like a burden because I do end up crying so much, and ruining our short time together. I love my residents like I do my own grandparents and I see them nearly everyday that I don’t have classes.

I love my job, but after discussing things with my boyfriend I came to the conclusion that doing part time school and part time work is too much for me. I end up getting sick for extended amounts of time, stuff that I catch from work after working for nearly 40 hours a week on top of classes. I want to become an RN so after saving all of the money I need, and then some extra to take care of my dog and car. I decided to go full time to school in order to get my Masters sooner rather than waiting for a longer amount of time and suffering.

Which - segway - means that I would be unable to move out to live near him for at least four or five more years. So he decided that when his lease is up, November, he wants to come up here closer to me. He’s from New Orleans and has never really left the state in fact his first time leaving the state alone will be in March when he comes here to visit me and look at apartments. He has assured me he isn't moving for just me, and that he thinks he would enjoy all four seasons New England has to offer as well as seeing me and my dog every weekend.

Back to the trip in March, I am sooo nervous and want to show him everything there is to love about New England. Plus I want to make sure he and my baby, two year old female Rat Terrier, Sadie get along that is my biggest worry. I’ve never looked at apartments before either, as I’ve either been at my parents house or in a college dorm so I don’t think I could be much help when it comes to looking at places. However he assures me my thoughts will be appreciated and welcomed since I am more familiar with the surrounding areas and his likes.

I just want to end on a positive note as the beginning of this blog was kinda a downer, so to end things on a happy note I’ll talk about what I got my boyfriend for when he arrives in March as belated Valentines and six month anniversary gifts. In total he has received two hand written love letters and when he gets off the plane I have a little painting for him with love birds sitting in a tree and a LoveBook that is full of reasons why I love him and enjoy his company. 14 more days till I get to hold him in my arms.