So... the other day I had a very enlightening talk with my aunt (She's only my parents' friend but she's very close)

What I realized is the reason for me not being able to keep my flat clean.

When I was a kid the only place I felt safe and good was my room and it was always full of clutter, mess, trash and general disarray (sometimes it was hard to get inside)
apparently I've been translating this need for safety into my adult life.

Not anymore! I am an adult and I knowing the reason I have tools to change myself.

So:

living room - clean
kitchen - clean
my bedroom (and this is very hard for me to believe) is also clean.
my daughter's room will be cleaned when she goes back to school.

The realization kinda opened my eyes and I started see things I didn't notice before. I'm not naive enough to believe that things changed for good and will stay that way but I feel so free right now. For years I couldn't put a finger on the reason why I can't keep the place clean, now I know. And am fighting the dust with fire in my heart!

LOL