It's been a week since I came back home. And you know what? I just can't seem to get over it. I've been fairly ill all week, which obviously hasn't been helping at all, but I just feel emotionally very drained. It's hard to describe the feeling. I think it's a mixture of tiredness, boredom and feeling physically sick. I feel like I can't focus on anything. The days have been dragging so slowly it's unreal - like the days are 100 hours long instead of 24 hours.
Anyway, today was the first day that I could go out and get some groceries. That just made it worse. I'm so sick of this place in general and I just got a very strong feeling that I do not want to be here. I had to collect everything I needed and leave the shop as quickly as I could. Otherwise I would have started crying, seriously. I'm turning into some negative and moany old hag and that really annoys me.
I feel like I need to do something new and have new people in my life to distract me from this. The problem is that where I live is genuinely a sh*t hole and you can't even start a new hobby here. There is nothing. No activities whatsoever. It's one of those places where everyone eventually move away, because it's impossible to have a life here. Everyone "knows" everyone, gossip around and all that small town crap.
I would move, but the job situation is kind of hopeless in Finland at the moment, and getting a new job is a nightmare. And I would need thousands of euros for security deposit alone, if I wanted to rent a flat.
Fun days!
Sincerely yours
Moany Old Hag
I know exactly where you're coming from! I spent three months with my SO in his country and having to come back 'home' was so hard. I felt like I had walked back into this old life that I didn't belong in anymore, and nobody really understood what I was going through. But, it does get better. Even though it feels like it won't, it slowly does get a little easier. It just kinda happened gradually.
Much love to you...I promise it gets better