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blissfulgirl2 started a blog post Too Much?Too Much?
My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged since the start of our 2nd year and he talks about the wedding to me a lot and what he would like and we look at rings sometimes. But then he always says we are too young to get married and that we should wait. Theres only 8 more months till we go into our 3rd year and I just feel at this point when we had talked about getting engaged this summer it hurts to hear him say this. I don't understand-am I being too pushy? Too excited? He says his parents would approve of him moving here and he's ready to move here yet he isn't ready to commit that much to me because his parents have told him it's a bad idea. My family is supportive of it but his isn't which makes me nervous because his family is close to him as are mine and they can saw options especially your own. I guess my question is we talk about getting engaged and all that maybe every other week or less so it's not constant but I mean I feel like he's pushing away a bit and that makes me question if I am strangling him with this or being pushy which I'm not. I'm just confused because I love him with all my heart and soul and want to be with him for the rest of my life. Doesn't he feel the same? I mean I guess we could apply for the green card or something but thats a lot harder than just doing the fiance visa and him saying all this now is kinda making me question whenever he really wants to move here or not. Do you think he's questioning it? Is he scared? Why won't he talk to me more? Help?You must be logged in to post a comment.
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Zephii- It is a huge step I agree with you on that because I know that as well as he does.You make a good point of the two ways of thinking about getting engaged I didn't think of that before and I did/have been pressuring him a little and I think I should back off a little.
Eternity- The reason why I am so headstrong on this relationship is because the only time he really took charge and was the leader was when he came to visit me last summer after us both waiting to see each other. I hope he will take the lead soon because right now it feels like I am the leader right now it gets tiring.
Ryan- It was a surprise to hear the guys don't take engagement lightly-well I mean I kinda figured it. Im not trying to rush it but we had made plans that the third year was the year we'd start getting him moved over here and everything now he's backing out and I feel guilty like I did something. His family I think does have the majority vote over his life since he does live under their roof as do I but I kinda do my own thing each day. I don't believe age matters but I don't get why he told me he would marry me the next day if he could and he would talk about it openly with me and now it's like he doesn't want to talk about it.
The one thing you all agreed on was financially stableness. And it's true I want to have enough money this summer to move out and get a place of my own so when my SO does move over we have a place and then he can get a job and all that. Money is important but shouldn't love and all that be important too? I don't know Im confused, hurt, and sick to my stomach because I feel so bad about pressuring him a lil and I feel guilty.
Thank you all for your advice!