He CHanged His MInd.**PLEASE READ*** - Long Distance Relationship Forum

blissfulgirl2 started a blog post He CHanged His MInd.**PLEASE READ***
January 3, 2011, 09:05 PM
He CHanged His MInd.**PLEASE READ***

Apparently my SO doesn't want to re-locate here. No. He wants me to move there. He says I will get homesick and I will miss my mates. I will miss my friends too if I move but I mean I would move but Im on a degree path and he just works at KFC its a lot easier for him to move over and less expensive. He doesn't want to move over at all. He had it in my mind after next year things would change and he'd move over for six months see how he feels and if he didn't like it he would move back. Awful pressure I know, but now he wants none of it. Im so sad and yet Im mad too. I don't want to be mad but its like if none of us can move then we are screwed. I dont want to wait a fourth year and the next year is our third so I am going to give this one more year. I don't want to lose him but it's like if he can't commit and his friends/family are nah saying our relationship thats BS! My family is supportive I thought his were too. I don't know what to think Ive been crying for a while now. What can I do? I dont know? HELP !
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3 comments
- #1
  
  Zephii commented
  
  January 4, 2011, 12:29 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  There comes to a point where you have to draw a line and tell him "This is not acceptable". Relocating is a big deal, but he can't expect you to do something he will not. It doesn't work like that, you know?
  Long term relationships/ marriage is a partnership... it's both people working together to better their lives. It's building a future together, not one person being absorbed into the life of another.
  
  I think you need to have (yet another) big long talk. Make sure you're prepared in advance so you know all the points you want to make. Approach it rationally, from the angle of what is best for both of you. Explain to him that without compromise the relationship wont work. You can't stay LD forever.
  
  Don't waste anther year of your life on a maybe, or you'll just be disapointed.
  *Hugs and carrots*
- #2
  
  blissfulgirl2 commented
  
  January 4, 2011, 02:34 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  zephii-i think long talks with my SO are hard because they usually end up with some other deal or we get off topic. Its hard when I want so much out of him and he wants so much out me. Its just idk its a hard call.
- #3
  
  Silviar commented
  
  January 4, 2011, 09:17 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  You really need to sit down and talk. If the talk gets off-topic, bring it back. I don't think a talk has to be long to be profound - I'm pretty sure you could even resolve this in 20-40 minutes if you just talk it straight through. Ask him why he's suddenly had an attitude change, and why he thinks this is a better choice than the previous one, and draw up a list of pro's and con's together as to why. If you disagree with him, say so. There may be underlying circumstances for these thoughts.
  
  However, if you guys can't agree, you're going to have to make a hard choice - whether you can compromise on this, or if you should move on. It's pretty unfair for him to make you do all the work, particularly if your finances are tied up in a degree - which you have to complete, it's not like it can just be picked up and moved. If his future vision of you isn't compatible, then unfortunately, you have your answer.
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He CHanged His MInd.PLEASE READ*

He CHanged His MInd.PLEASE READ*