Where to begin? Let's start with work... I (finally!) quit my awful job and haven't looked back....love it! I tried to quit once and got talked out of it by my boss (I'm a bit of a pushover in that way. I'm far from proud of that quality; I like to believe I am a strong individual who possesses a backbone, but apparently not all the time.). However, I had another job lined up, and she did not comply with the cut hours we had agreed with, so I really quit, though short notice. That's a shitty thing to do, I realize, but afterward I had dropped off my official resignation, I received texts from her (we all shared phone #s at work in case we needed to reach one another) informing me what an extreme disappointment and terrible person I was. Needless to say, I didn't feel shitty about it anymore.
Leading into: new job! I'm working at a smaller store, they have two locations and online, a bit of a change of pace. Everyone I've met there has been nice, my boss is SO kind and thinks the world of me. I re-merchandised half the store one day as I had finished other things I needed to do, and received a "thank you" - unheard of!
I took a tiny pay deduction, but I really hope I can move upwards soon enough. Also, now I won't be working inside 60 hours a week, so hopefully I can get back to a schedule at the barn. I have a training prospect just waiting for some attention, her name is Miley and she's awfully cute, I'll have to get a picture. A little girl and her grandmother are showing my old mare, and the grandfather showed my old gelding, this weekend. I'm proud of all of them, but damn it's hard not to be protective, you know? The mare (Lacey) is the hardest, she's my pride and joy as far as that job goes, so it is difficult to see her being used...not to her full potential. Such is life, I suppose. Hopefully I can take her out on a long trail ride some weekend I have free, my newer girl is NOT up for the "outdoors" and baby Miley is of course out of the picture.Weekends are getting crazy with horse events and working, and on evenings I have free I have been going OUT! Man, it is so much fun. I've been on dates with a few different guys... the first one seemed sweet, but too uncomfortable/shy for me (I felt like I was overpowering, even in 'awkward first date' mode). The next, gee whiz, we had a fantastic date. Nothing awkward, he was hot as can be, and what was meant to be just a sushi lunch led into mini golf (because what the heck), a sculpture garden walk, accidentally photobombing a wedding, people watching at a comic book convention, coffee, and some GREAT kisses. Like, wow, fireworks, and so many dates packed into one day. But a few days later he called and we chatted for awhile, and I realized we seriously had differing views on things very important to me. Casual racism and disliking people without your faith or sexual orientation? Um, no thanks. So hopes were dashed on that one, but I am thankful for a great date and not a disaster once entering the dating world again.
There are two other suitors who have made appearances - I have never had the experience of just dating for fun, this makes it sound like so many people, where really, it is not. One, we'll call him N, is incredibly sweet, but the huge downfall is he lives in California (we met through a friend, the brother of my ex actually) and I am really not interested in long distance at the moment. I wish, as awful and selfish as this sounds, that I hadn't gotten even slightly invested in him, because a relationship with someone afar is simply not what I want... We have not yet met, he offered to fly me out there last week, but I felt uncomfortable being paid for like that. I really don't have many other times free for months, so it isn't exactly a grand possibility for the near future anyway. Other guy, S, is not exactly "sweet," but very fun and outdoorsy. At the beginning of our communication we agreed neither of us was looking for a relationship, just fun. We go out on dates pretty often and it is terrific. We've gone out to hole-in-the-wall restaurants, fancy theaters, out for hikes, gotten caught in super heavy rain miles from where we parked (never been so drenched!), gotten frisky in a sauna
- I like that he's up for almost anything. This week we are going to a science museum, which should be fun! We'll see how long it lasts, but for now, it's quite fun to have someone to go out with, even if he's a total penny pincher. (That sounds ridiculous, I know. I don't have a ton of cash either. However, a GREAT meal? I am willing to pay for that shit, you know? Yum.)So, all in all, it's only been a handful of months being single, but it was awhile coming. I feel like I "checked out" of the last relationship months before it ended, and so I was able to throw myself into going out pretty quickly. I'm certainly not ready for a relationship right now (and don't have the guy needed for his half of that deal LOL) but my feelers are slowly peeking out. If someone catches my eye, we shall see.
I really LOVE getting to know people, am a pretty big fan of flirting, and I feel like a new "me" after breaking up. So silly, but I feel so CONFIDENT in myself, even if I have been questioning just about everything else. This ex wasn't tampering me, or I certainly didn't feel like he was after "The Ex" prior, but the termination of the relationship reaffirmed my thought that people come into our lives and serve purposes that are lasting, even if that relationship isn't. Speaking of this ex, unfortunately, I know he isn't feeling quite the liberation I am. We spoke somewhat recently because his parents were suffering some health problems. He is suffering from depression (he's chronic regardless) and it didn't sound like he gets out much. I feel bad, but I know it isn't my responsibility to "fix" things for him. Still makes me sad to hear. Meanwhile, his brother and I have remained friends, which is appreciated.
As if the new job and my sudden social life (or something like that) weren't enough, I got accepted into the program I wrote about in my last blog. That begins in September and I'm pretty excited. I'll be meeting new people and learning new things and making sure I'll have about zero time to sleep between that and work and horse work and other people. Should be a good time!
Other things around home, a few months ago I brought home an adorable little kitten - he was only 5 weeks at the time, but the queen was pushing all her babies away. His name turned into Rafael Juan Pablo Rodriguez, or simply "Rafi."
Now he's 4 months and getting so big! However, he is antagonizing my older cat (age 11), Bella, so - as crazy as this sounds - I think a third will be added to the family. Every cat person I've talked to says that it's improbable that three cats will all dislike each other, so the hope is that Third Kitty either becomes friends with Bella and lets Rafi continue to be a spaz and people-oriented, or befriends Rafi and tires him out, maybe! Pictures will definitely be included!I'm not sure what else to add, there are so many things going on, it is maddening, but what ever could you all find interesting? I am trying to think of a way to make some money on the side - like I said, pay check is a bit less - but I am struggling to think of things I don't suck at and have time for.
Will keep ya posted. Otherwise, I can't think of anything else new, though I'm sure there have been many things since my last post. Next blog, yes?How are all of you lovelies? I pop in and read threads every few days, but don't post much, of course. Must keep me updated!
Thanks so much for writing