Seems silly sometimes, when I look back at my life.. There were so many times I thought I was in love, thought I had everything figured out. and then when it really hits me.. Real love.. He's so far away, and there are so many obstacles in our way, so much between us. At first I thought we'd never meet, then it happened. I can remember standing alone in an airport alone.. he was 2 hours late to get me (due to traffic)... So here I stood pissed off and scared alone in a new Country with no way to contact anyone. I closed my laptop and look up and saw him.. Perfection standing there searching for me and I knew the moment we saw each other, I knew I'd never be the same. I couldn't be angry no more or scared just at peace and feeling his arms around me for the first time was (as corny as it sounds) magic. I lived with him 6 months and we had our ups and downs, but eventually got used to being together all the time.. Then I left and I can easily say that is one of the most horrible days of my life, most nights I dream of that day I'm forced to relive the pain of how much it hurt walking away from one of the only people in my life that really makes me happy. We've been apart now 10 months and I can still remember every detail of that day. The way his hair curled around my fingers as I held onto him, how tightly he squeezed me, his scent, and the soaked shoulder of his hoodie from my tears. Since being home I feel so empty, just a hollow shell going through my daily motions, and each day I have to put on this smile like everything is ok, because at the end of the day my 6 year old needs a strong happy mommy. I hold in so much, hold myself together when in the inside I'm falling apart.