Oh my god.

This relationship has been a secret from my mother ever since it started. She had no clue I was even dating. No clue that we'd travelled to see each other (three visits and 2000+ miles, so that's a BIG stressful secret!!).

Before you think I'm the worst daughter imaginable, I had good reason to keep my mouth shut. My mother had enforced, without a doubt, that I am not to date outside of our ethnicity. It just doesn't happen in our family. Even the idea of "dating" is frowned upon. We're South Asian and arranged marriage is very much a normalcy. Just a few months ago and older cousin of mine married a man that her parents had "matched" for her. When I talk about interracial relationships, just out of curiosity, my mother would be on the verge of tears and rage - telling me how wrong it was and that she'd "run away" if I ever "came home with a non-Tamil boy". Dramatic and scary. For both of our sakes, I decided to keep things under wraps until I was older.

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One week ago.

She called me early in the morning. "I checked your phone bill and your call history. It says you placed calls from San Diego and Los Angeles". Busted. So very much.

The next thing out of my mouth surprised even me. It was the whole, messy truth. My brain was screaming "STOP!!" but my mouth just kept motoring on. I have a boyfriend. We've been dating for almost a year. He lives in San Diego. I was with him over the break. He's not Tamil, he's Hispanic. He's a great guy. I was afraid to tell you. I was terrified. I thought you'd disown me. He's like 6 foot 4. Blah blah blah.

I think a small part of me wanted to get caught. I could've easily worked around the phone thing. I'm just not meant to be a liar.