Aaaaah. It's 6 am here, I got a difficult 4 hours of sleep and if I don't write the thoughts out of my head I won't be able to get back to bed. At 3:30 pm, he's dropping me off at the airport the second he gets out of work. Until then, I'm sitting in his room alone and packing my things.

He just kind of pulls away emotionally and physically until he just vanishes at the airport. Unceremonious and that's how I usually handle it. Instead, for me, leaving him is like ripping off the band-aid nice and slow. I usually try to hold him more and memorize what he feels like. This time I attempted to approach it like normal and just keep to myself more just before we part...really didn't make me feel better.

Leaving is pure agony and he is the ONLY person that I have this problem with. Not my dearest friends, not my mother, not even my little sister. It'll be a tiny bit better once I get back home. XBOX all day until my fingers bleed and then jumping back into my next college term.

I fucking hate this part. Funny how the best and worst parts of this relationship come so close together..