I'm conflicted.
The situation is that mom and sister have decided to go to Cali for our family vacation this August. After about 4-5 days, mom and sis will head home and I'll stay with my SO for a month. I'm stoked to show them around, and my SO is happy to help, since we'll get extra time together.
The issue is that I think it's best that I stay with mom and sister in their hotel room while they're there. My SO's a little upset that we'll have to be apart for a few nights. I'd choose to stay with them for two reasons. One, I don't want them to feel neglected on our family vacation. Two, mom would never, ever be okay with me actually sleeping in my SO's bed (without being married, anyway). We obviously are intimate, but to mom and most of my family, the sex before marriage thing is a big taboo. Dating was hard enough to explain to her. I've been lying and saying that I stay over with my SO's family, and in a guest room to myself. My SO thinks I'm letting my mother control me and he's sad that he'd be away from me. I feel like family vacation time isn't the right moment to talk to my mom about adult relationships in Western society.. At the same time, I'd be hurting too to be apart from him and my family wouldn't really be missing me in their sleep. Well, mom would probably be up all night crying that her daughter is getting up to no good.
I have half the mind to tell my SO to just deal with it. We'd both sacrifice a few nights for the sake of my mom and sister having a better, less-complicated vacation. I think that's reasonable.
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CanadianGirl started a blog post Family vacation and my SOFamily vacation and my SO
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My friend is legally married but not religiously yet, and according to both sets of parents they're still virgins. They have to sneak around. They're adults. But sneaking around is easier than confronting parents about having premarital sex. Stay in the hotel. It'll be worth it in the end.
1. You're an adult. You can make your own decisions. I get the mom thing. Mine's the same way. Really religious, didn't have sex with my father before marriage (I asked, much to her complete shock lol
2. You are going to be doing some family time before they head back home and then stay with your SO for a month. Stay with your family. Your SO will live without you a few days. Your mom loves you, which is why she's concerned about you, and this whole "sex before marriage" thing. You won't be seeing your mom for a month and are supposed to be spending a little time with them to show them around and stuff before they take off. Give them a few days of your time.
3. SO says your family is being controlling. Same is true for him. He's demanding your time away from your family for a few extra days when he's got you the whole month. Both parties are pulling you one way or the other. You're going to upset someone no matter what you decide.
That's why I go back to #1. You are an adult. Do what's best for you. If someone is going to end up ticked off at you, you might as well pick the one that's going to make you happiest