While we were LD and wanted to make dessert during a visit, we'd just use that refrigerator-section cookie dough and boxed mixes for some instant gratification. I couldn't convince him it was worth it to bake from scratch in his shared kitchen and we just didn't want to waste our time not boning really.. But now we can go to town on both. I made a post that he wanted to make cookies for his co-workers and we both thought that these looked so cool. So we're in Target, looking for those eyeballs and the required food coloring when my SO spots a boxed mix for those EXACT cookies. Wat. Waaaaat. How. Ughh. Fine. The mix was also somehow cheaper than just the candy eyeballs on their own. I also made a batch of just chocolate cookies so we'd have enough to go around. We spotted red food colour gel on the eyes and added melted chocolate chip piping, et voila. Bomb-ass cookies. I'm still proud of us haha.
We also carved up a couple pumpkins on Halloween. We're living in a gated-type apartment complex, so no trick-or-treaters got to see them. They just lived on our dining table as spooky but oddly romantic centrepieces
Mine is the one who looks like it got a lobotomy. I'm super proud of his. If I was a headless horseman, that's the pumpkin I'd want to carry around.
Meetup.com #1
I signed up for my first meet-up this month and it was a feminist book club. To be frank, the only thing I was worried about for the meet up was that the opinions wouldn't be very diverse. The book this month was "The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl" by Issa Rae, inspired by her webseries on youtube. I see that 18/20 people signed up where white.. In my experience, I have friends who are wonderful, empathetic women who are white and proudly feminist (and know about intersectionality) that still basically Matt Damon me...That being said, everyone was super sweet. The book is mostly autobiographical and how Issa Rae's experience of blackness was growing up and how it affected her career. A couple times I felt like I had to pipe in with a point of view of a racial minority. It was sort of killing me that most of them were just guessing, you know? Overall, I think the conversation was enlightening for everyone.
It's kind of cool being with a group of just completely new people, being 100% honest about your opinions and the whole thing being civil and thought-provoking. I think certain parts of the internet did a great job painting feminists as scary she-beasts. I've never met a single one and I'm going out of my way at this point. They're all lovely so suck it, internet. You can stay at home and be angry all you want.
As for the book itself, Issa Rae did really well for her first book with a lot of hilarious, well-written chapters. She's the head of her own production company and works to promote women and minorities in the entertainment industry. This was the chapter/excerpt I found online that convinced me to read the whole thing. The author quotes another writer, and I think it's frigging brilliant.
I immediately thought of my absolute favorite Junot Díaz quote.He said:
You guys know about vampires? . . . You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought is not that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any refection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist?” And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might see themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.
Isn’t that the realest shit ever?
You guys know about vampires? . . . You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought is not that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any refection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist?” And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might see themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.
Isn’t that the realest shit ever?
She also wrote:
Now, having been in the industry for a couple of years, I’m not entirely sure it’s blatant racism, as I had once assumed. It’s more complicated than that. As Ralph Ellison once posited, we’re invisible to them. We’re simply not on their radar. As long as the people who are in charge aren’t us, things will never change.
Next month is "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" and I'll definitely be back. I think I'm a book club person...Soo, I also signed up for a Humanist society one as well.
I'm glad that life in CA is treating you well. It's too bad we don't live closer or we could meet up!
I grew up in a very diverse setting. I hate to be the "I have a black friend" person, but I feel it's relevant in this discussion. My city is majority black, my high school was majority black (I was one of maybe 5 white kids in my graduating class), I went to an HBCU (historically black college/university), my best friend is an Indian immigrant, I work in a school where our population is probably 50% black, 35% Hispanic, 10% white, 5% everyone else, my teachers and professors had accents, speaking English as a second language was and is a norm. etc, etc. I love that I have had the privilege to grow up in this type of environment, not everyone gets the chance to do so. It's one of the things I missed the most while living in Costa Rica- diversity. I think being the "minority" and being able to grow up around different people has made me a better person. Yet, I don't feel appropriate partaking in discussions on race because I don't feel that I have much to add as a white girl. But I do love to listen and I do love to learn.
I mentioned that I work in a very racially diverse school in a very diverse city, yet almost all of our teachers are white. I'm not sure if anyone else notices it, but I do. I think it's wrong and I hate there's nothing I can do about it (besides quitting and hoping a person of color takes my spot?). I can't change who I am or the experiences I've had because of it. I hate calling in parents of a "brown" student and have them sit down surrounded by 5-6 white folks telling them what we "know" about their kid. It sucks. I know it sucks. And there's nothing I can do about it.
I say all that because I hope that those 18/20 white girls feel the same way. I hope they realize that the proportions are off and that they'll never be able to understand the minority population because they'll never be a part of it. But try to respect that they're trying. I hope that they can listen and learn from you, because you're right- we are all just guessing.
And on a lighter note- those cookies are pretty kick ass.