LFAD I may need advice from everyone.
My mom just called me because we havent talked in such a long time.. And I like talking to her because she gives good advice.
Awhile ago, I was so excited to tell her that my SO and I were planning for my visit in NL soon. Oftentimes she would support everything that I do. She supports my SO and I's relationship too. But after I told her that I was the one visiting, she firmly tells me that I shouldn't go and my SO should make an effort into visiting first.
She tells me that if my SO really likes me, he should make an effort into coming here instead of me. It's easier for him to enter Canada without a visa, while I have to go through immigration hoops to apply for a Schengen visa (Back story: I'm a Canadian foreign worker). Plus I'm going through my application for Permanent Residency right now so my schedule is very hectic.
She also says that if I go there, no one in the family knows anyone who I can go to in case of emergency situations. And they havent met Ron personally. They would be worried sick if I left for Christmas.
Also, she says that if he comes back here in Canada, he can gauge if he still would want to live here. It's even better for him because we can schedule him for interviews and such. That way, he can apply for the holiday work permit before it expires on him.
I understand where my mom is coming from but at the same time my SO and I had already made plans. We've been planning the visit for far too long that all I want right now is to see him and touch him. My mom's arguments are logical and I dont know what to do in this situation. I cant do anything because my SO doesnt give me any straight answers about what he wants to do.
I'm in the "Now, what?" situation because I feel lost about what's going to happen with us. It's not even helping that I'm experiencing a lot of stress because of work.
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curious_gal518 started a blog post Plans Falling Apart Again.Plans Falling Apart Again.
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Me and my SO met online, my parents thought it was dangerous and so on... I talked to my SO about it and he completely understood. I am very aware that I need my parents support in this very difficult process of being in a LDR. So my SO decided to come here right away. We looked at dates and he got a ticket.
On the other hand, if you are sure it's the right thing and if you can assure your parents by giving them information about where you're staying (addresses, phone numbers) you should go anyway. I would arrange a skype date for your parents to meet your SO and maybe his parents so they have an idea where you'll be.
I know that would make a huge difference for my parents...
Like JaneEmily said, the Dutch are so good at english! I live in the NL and was born here. I told my SO when he came here for the first time that everyone speaks such good english and most people are really friendly and would help you out with anything!
You'll be fine, don't get nervous because your parents are. Do what you know is right.
All of this made us decide that it makes much more sense to do it this way than any other way.
Now when it comes to your situation, think what would be the easiest and best for the two of you. Going through a visa that might be a lot of money (sorry, I don't know how much it is or if it costs any money) versus no-visa needed seems like an easy decision, but there is more that plays into this situation.
You need to see what would be the best for you two, regardless of what your mother thinks.