Matt and I recently started dating. At first I kind of took it as a joke. He told me he was tired of other people hurting me so I should be his long distance girlfriend. I figured hey, why not. I mean... He seems to kind of care about me, unlike everyone else. Then the other day he said something that really hit home with me... He said, "We Are Not Meaningless".

Those words have changed everything about our relationship... I have now really decided to commit to this long distance thing. The only problem I'm having is that before we had started dating, I had led a few guys on... Not because I wanted to be with them, but because I was so terribly lonely. Now they continue to "sext" me and it gets a little awkward because they can't understand why I avoid it. I've explained to everyone that I'm in a long distance relationship, but they think it's just a joke. At the beginning I kept wanting to be intimate with someone physically and whenever I would try, I couldn't do it - I felt too guilty. I think I subconsciously knew that it would anger Matt to no end... I didn't want to lose him, even though he's half way across the world.

There is this guy who has been trying to get with me for about three years now. Right now we're having a very long argument over text because of Matt. He doesn't understand why I chose to date Matt over him when Matt lives in South Africa and he lives in the same city as me. It's so hard for me to explain to him. He doesn't understand how I can love someone that I have never even met... He doesn't understand that I can't leave Matt for him because of the unknown. That's what kills me... The unknown... The idea that he could be the one for me and I would never know if we don't meet. I have come to the conclusion that I need to stay with him until we do meet. I just know there is something beautiful between us.