The midwife went off to call the anesthesiologist. When she came back she said she was on her way to do the woman next to me any way and I would be after her. Which, from the sounds that woman was making, she definitely needed one! On that note, I hardly made any sound. I internalize pain and go quiet. Which I think sometimes leads people to believe I'm not in as much pain as I am.
I had to move rooms to get the epidural as the room I was in had a double bed and with the epi, they wanted me in a single. The room was literally two doors down but it was the longest damn walk in my life. I was SO glad I managed to make it before a contraction hit. That would not have been pretty.
I get to the room and immediately vomit. I guess the pain and gas and stress caught up to me because I was violently sick for a few minutes. But thankfully that subsided. And we wait. And I'm freaking dying at this point guys. In all my thoughts as to how bad labor would be, I never imagined it would be that bad. It felt like someone was wringing my insides like they were a wet towel. I was starting to hyperventilate and the midwife and Luke were both coaching me to slow my breathing down. Finally an HOUR later, the anesthesiologist walks in. I have never been so glad to see someone in my life. But that was short lived. Because soon it became apparent that she didn't have everything she needed on her epidural cart. She kept sending the midwife to find things. And the midwife was a graduate midwife who didn't know what everything was. So she kept bringing back the wrong things. And instead of the anesthesiologist just getting it herself, she would send her back out to find the right thing. This happened 4 or 5 times, I lost count. And while this is going on, I'm starting to beg them to hurry. I'm dripping sweat and shaking and every time a contraction hits, I'm sure I'll die. Literally. I was thinking over and over to myself that there was no way I'd survive another one.
Then she gets to the point of actually putting it in. She has me move to the edge of the bed and hunch my back over. And stay completely still. Ummmm yeah. Almost impossible in the middle of a contraction. It was at this point that I started feeling the urge to push. It was overwhelming. But I didn't want to say it because I was afraid she'd stop and not having the epi was not an option at this point. So there I am, trying to hunch over and stick my back out “like a cat,” while I'm in unspeakable pain and fighting the urge to bear down. I was losing control of my body quickly and could feel myself pushing a little even though I was trying so hard not to.
Well as luck would have it, she couldn't get the epi in the right space. She hit bone THREE times before it finally went in. I was losing hope she would ever get it in and I could feel my willpower draining. Finally-FINALLY....2 hours after I asked for it, my epidural was in and OMG the relief. It took a few minutes to really take hold but immediately I got some relief. I started to whisper to Luke that they needed to check me. I had lost my ability to speak in that last hour. Eventually I got the voice to tell the midwife she needed to check me as I was pretty sure I was there. She did and said I was almost there but had a lip of cervix left. She left to get the doctor.
Oh I felt so good! Once it was actually in, the epi worked perfectly. It completely took the pain away but I could still feel my legs and when a contraction was happening. Then the doctor comes in, checks, and says I'm complete. Hallelujah! But she also says baby is getting tired and I'll need to get her out quickly.
Right at this moment shift change happens. My doctor and midwife are off and a new midwife walks into the room. She tells me I'm going to push NOW and baby needs to get here in a hurry or other means will be used. I was dead set against a forceps birth so I knew I needed to get serious.
She props one of my feet against her hip and tells Luke to take the other one. Poor guy went white as a sheet. He had every intention of staying by my head and seeing no part of the birth process. But he took one for the team and did as asked. He tried to keep his eyes up top but I could see he was catching glimpses of things he didn't want to see. It was funny but I felt bad for him
The midwife was coaching me to push and hold three times during each contraction. The baby was RIGHT THERE but I was having trouble getting her right where she needed to be. I got more and more worried I would need an intervention. But then! She told me to stop pushing and just breathe. She reached down and with a little tug our baby was out! She plopped her on my chest and we just stared at her. It was the most surreal thing. I knew I was giving birth and a baby would be born but the reality of actually seeing her...indescribable. I forgot to even check if she was indeed a girl, until the midwife mentioned it. Luckily she was. She was on my gown for a few minutes but then we did skin to skin and had the first feed. She was wiped off a bit but they don't really clean them. So her and I were both covered in afterbirth. Good stuff. It took a bit to deliver my placenta and my uterus wouldn't firm up. I was given more drugs for that. I lost quite a bit of blood but luckily she was able to stem the bleeding before I needed anything else. The placenta came out intact but my membranes didn't. So I'm still on alert for signs of infection with that. And my blood pressure has stayed down since the day after I was admitted.
But none of that mattered because Felicity was here and she was healthy and pink and gorgeous. She weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces and 49cm. A small little girl
She doesn't really look how I pictured her but she's perfect. Luke and I are getting to know her and while we've struggled with certain things (like sleep,) we're getting better every day. My girl is 5 days old today and I'm a mommy! Or mummy 
My favorite pic ever. Minutes after birth.
Daddy and his little girl
Sleepy baby
