Hello all! So it's been awhile. I've been meaning to blog for awhile but there's always something more pressing that *must*be attended to (in my compulsive mind). Not today! Today I'm sick and have no energy. So while the baby sleeps, I'm doing this. yay!

Good news-I'm going home!! Yaaayyyyyyy! We fly out November 16th. Luke will head back after two weeks, while Felicity and I will stay until January 10th. I'm so excited. I think some people are determined to make me feel guilty about "keeping" Felicity from Luke for so long. And to some extent, I AM feeling guilty. I know it sucks. Who knows what firsts she'll have while we're gone and I'm sure he'll miss holding her and playing with her and the like. And I'm nervous about caring for her on my own. But like I've been telling everyone, this was always how it was going to be. We are an international couple. I made the very hard decision to move my life across the world. But a very large part of who I am and the people I love are 8,000 miles away. I can not give that up. I still partially live there too. And it's only fair to me, Felicity, and my family, that we spend some real time there as well. If we were to only go for a short time it would feel like a tease. If it was all we were able to manage then it would have to do. But it's not. I don't have a job to come back to, the flight price is the same regardless, might as well stay awhile. So we're going to. And come January we'll all be happily back in Melbourne.

So I need some advice. Awhile ago I attempted to write an entire blog about this but it made me angry so I stopped. But I'm back to it. I'll try to keep this as short and simple as possible. I have a best friend back in California, whom I've known since we were 5. We're extremely close. We've lived together, and I've lived with her family. When I need someone to help my dad with something, she volunteers when my own family won't. I've seen her through her engagement break-up, her subsequent relationship with a Norwegian man she met, a move to Norway, and a move back to California. I was at their very small wedding, I stayed with them for weeks when I was last home, this girl is my family for all intents and purposes. And she's always been there for me through everything as well.

Her and her husband have had a dramatic relationship. He has some mental health issues that have put an enormous strain on their relationship. They've almost called it quits many, many times. But through it all I don't think anyone ever doubted his love for her. He always put her on a pedestal. Eerily so, almost. They decided to try for a baby and last November she fell pregnant. Everything was going fine.

Then one night 2 months or so ago she texts me and asks me to call. She says she's not doing well. It was the middle of the night for her. Keep in mind she was 8 months pregnant. Basically she tells me she thinks he's having an affair. She has a lot of evidence but nothing solid and every time she confronted him about it he belittled her, told her she was crazy, treated her like the scum on his shoe. He left her every night saying he needed "time alone." She was distraught and begged him (on her KNEES) to stay, saying she was sorry she had questioned him and to please, please not leave her. He looked at her, said "I don't forgive you" and walked out, leaving her a mess. I talked to her for hours that night until she said she was going to sleep. A couple hours later she calls me back. She said she couldn't let it go so she found the girls address and found him leaving her house. She got him to admit he had been sleeping with her. He said he was going back and forth having sex with them both. (Hello STD for your unborn child risk) She asked him why he did it and he says "because I'm sick and evil."

She tells him to move out, kicks him off her phone plan, etc. Meanwhile I'm on the phone with her every day for hours as she tells me that if it wasn't for the baby she would want to die. She is so, so, distressed. She doesn't eat or sleep and is having contractions form the stress. Through it all he's still talking to this other bitch. He tells my friend he still wants to be a family, but doesn't actually do anything to show any remorse. The only reason he says he's not going back to Norway is because of money.

Oh let me add: their therapist advises her that he believes her husband is a sociopath. He reccommends she should stay away from him and that her child "doesn't have a father." He even gave her a book about it and pointed out all the places it matched. And he declined to see her husband anymore, as he felt he can't help him.

Then one day she decides they're going to try and work it out. Just like that. What in the actual fuck. Don't get me wrong, I know why she made the decision. Of course she wants her family. She was getting ready to give birth and didn't want to do it alone, let alone be a single mom. I get it. But I can't condone it. I'm very much a "live and let live" person. I usually believe everyone has to make their own mistakes to be able to learn from them. But I'm struggling with this one. She's pretty much my sister and this man treated her like trash when she needed him most. I could forgive the cheating. Not easily-but I could learn to. But how he treated her during and after makes me sick. I won't even get into the other stuff, but some of it was sexual and all of it was just plain WRONG.

The other thing is that the last couple of years I've put a lot of effort into becoming the kind of person i want to be. This includes not associating with people I think are morally bankrupt. I don't mean people that do dumb things occasionally or whatever. I'm talking people that seem to have no conscience and bring more bad into my life than good. He fits that bill for me now.

So what do I do when I go over there? Play nice and pretend that everything is OK? See her when it's only just her and not him? If I tell her that's what I'm doing she'll get mad and I'll probably never really see her. I feel like I can be cordial to him but not friendly. Our double dates are a thing of the past. Luke feels the same way. He's already told me he doesn't want to hang out with them as a couple. But I love my friend! And she has a new baby I want to get to know. I don't want to lose time with them because of a personal decision she's made that is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Trust me guys, I know it's not really my concern. And I would never purport to tell her what to do with her life. I'm just at a loss as how to deal with it in *my* life. So yeah, advice?

Wow that was neither short nor simple.