. I am buying him a smart phone on Tuesday and most of my money goes into that. He said things like "I don't know if I can wait..." which scared the crap out of me and made me think he did not handle us being LD 
. I guess I am a little afraid he will back out when he says those things, but for the most part I think he is just venting because he is angry or sad that we have to be apart. We did not know each other that well before I left, so it is hard to grow more and more fond of each other and not being able to touch 
.I think once he has the phone, he might feel more at ease
Because the phone will make things very easy for us (as it wil work as his computer as well and he will not have to borrow from his friends), also he will see that I do prioritize him. And if I get extra money, I will go see him right away, he knows that. I feel so lucky just to be around him. This very special person in my life and I just like him more and more the more I get to know him. It breaks my heart to see him sad, I just want to hug him but I can't. Sometimes I manage to get him to laugh and I live on those moments. I have been trying to soothe myself and hopefully him too by preparing a gift/letter for him (the 52 compliment cards), I will send it together with the brown LDR key chain as soon as I get his new adress. Sometimes intimacy (no, I don't mean sex, but the feeling of belonging) is scary because it is so raw. I feel torn apart sometimes because I don't want to feel so much when he is away. On the other hand I need to be reminded why I do this at all
. I am just looking forward to that dammn phone!