1. Them ganging up on me, especially on my time management (they are raised to be very efficient wheras I was raised by soft hippie parents as I call them... even though my father is a minister he has the worst time management and is aways late)
2. Trying to figure out what US means, and how we can be three together. There were moments like I can't even explain, and I am not sure if this is usual in poly either as it is kind of personal, but I am so much in love with both of them sometimes, and there are feelings that overwealms me.
3. I had this once incident, fuelled by my SO (boyfriend) being a little stressed out, being the perfectionist that all three of us are, he was collecting my new bike (orange and blue...well I will have no trouble finding it!) and doing all these things that were helpful, but not directly romantic and he got into a "I am busy"- mode. He offered to give his (our) night to my husband, doing this thing were he was being very gentlemanlike and like saying "But he is here so short, and I can't offer you much tonight anyway because I will be tired" etc. To which I first got furious, and then extremely sad. I wanted to be with him no matter what, I felt like he was toying with me, taking away even the chance to fall asleep next to him. It was the evening of the barbeque party of my SO's job (I have been there a couple of times before), I had planned to dress up nice, SO and my husband was already there, and I was in the shower crying, crying, crying. I was almost curious about myself; So I am having a small breakdown in another country... how will I do? I found I was just the same level of awful as home in Norway, no more no less. So in a way, I found out that I do feel at home there, admist in my own emotional mess I felt safe.
I was texting SO (and my husband) telling I was not sure I could make it, because I was sad and upset. I felt not only rejected, but also that he was distroying the very structure of our relationship, which is that they get to share me, but not according to their wishes, or my wishes for that matter - it is a structure, they get half of me or the closest to it that we can manage - and that means every other night when we are in the same place, NO EXEPTIONS. Husband was like...please come, I want to have fun and I want you there with me. SO was calling me urging me to come, telling me he wanted me to, something in his voice convinced me to go, and I had almost stopped crying by then. And I arrived, the very latest (his boss was looking at me like What?), the food was long gone and the entertainment was half finished. My husband was a bit upset that he had to eat by himself, but had gotten a lap dance from the belly dancer and was halfway through a water pipe, and I had said sorry, so he was ok. SO was a hundred times more attuned to me. My strong reaction had made a point, it seemed. I felt agressive in a good way. The water pipe was nice, much better than the wine. For some reason I was not sad anymore, I just wanted to dance. Even the kid kolleage who used to be offended by me (I think I have won him over) was looking at me, SO was looking at me. I felt everything has chang ed. My husband left earlier than us. Me and SO had a stroll home an hour later, stayed up to drink wiskey and talk. And then, despite the fight (or perhaps a bit because of it), we had possably the best sex of our relationship thus far. I think there is something about my dramatic side that he likes, especially because I am very seldom like that so it takes him much by surprise.
4. The next day, me and my husband went on a boat trip (really, it was the public boat that had just opened. I felt so clever because I figured out that, SO did not know) to the old town of the nearby city. We had a great day, talking and going to restaurants and we had some jewlery custummade for a friend (Yes, you can do anything in Turkey. But we had no idea where. We went for the only shop WITHOUT nagging people at the door). We even had our wedding rings polished, they had gotten a bit faded in 5 years. We bought other gifts for our friends (they keep having birthdays...) and even one for SO (a drinking glass with Turkish blue eyes on it). I the evening, we all went out to eat together, and there was this special mood, everything felt just right but right in a special way.
Then, my husband left, and me and SO for the first time went to a night club! There was even a concert and we had concert tickets (I have no idea how SO could afford it, my guess is a friend gave him a discount). SO did not want to dance, but he wanted to watch me dance and take pictures. I have gone out many times but never been in a proper night club like this, just tiny celler places. This was a big, grandiouse entrance, and the place was half way outdoors. There were lots of bars inside and a sort of burlesque feel to it. When we all started dancing, it felt a little bit like being in a church, the dj was really leading us on with light shows and it was great. SOs advice was to not meet any boy's eyes "Lots of guys will look at you. Don't look at them!"), which proved very effectively (I did not want to flirt with them anyway. But the one who got jealous in the night club was me, when this beautiful modern Cleopatra type of woman was eying up SO and got 30 seconds of the jealous girlfriend wibe! I was like, Can't you see he is with me so withdraw your eyes and she did, very very slowly...
The day after, all of a sudden his favourite female cousine ("she is like my sister!") came to visit with her fiance. During our visit, she found out that she was now approved as a teacher, so she was SUPER happy, crying and screaming and calling all her relatives to tell the good news. We had a spare bed room now that my husband had left, and luckily I had had the (housewife) sense to clean it already, so there was space for them. They brought food from home town, which made me nostalgic. During the stay, I noticed how slow the cousin spoke, and that it is similar to the way SO speaks Turkish, and it is was this great language moment where I discovered one of their dialectic traits
We were able to communicate in Turkish, English, German and hand gestures They went with me to the beach. They were very much in love and very adorable.After the night club visit and the family visit, I it was still high season and I was trying to make friends with it. I was back to feeding the cats, doing housework, trying to do yoga, trying to read my curriculum with him being super busy at the beach (boy I know so much about modern statehood now)... We made some food, we bicyled to shop for food ingredients, that was our date of sorts. I mean I love to do those things with him but it got a bit repetative since that was all we were doing. I got into the drill and it was super hot even early in the mornings and I was feeling a bit fatiuged. I wanted to go to massage, but SO was like "I don't want you to go to a massage in a hotel" and I waited and waited to hear news. THEN I got a phone call and texts; this is what you will do, go there, state this person's name and credentials. So I bicylced, and all the people sitting at the sidewalk seemed to be watching me, but perhaps I was just paranoid over the heat, anyway I knew the way and soon I found a CASTLE, a massage palace - this was were SO had sent me! I was told I could get different packages for half price, which was a good deal. I went for their most expensive package, which included among other things a scrub massage and a regular massage. I also got a VIP room with my own shower, sauna and jacoozie, and I was like...I have the best boyfriend in the world! I had a long awaited pedicure (half price), and before that tiny fish were nibbling at my feet... I had an oxygen treatment which was weird but I felt like a spa queen. As I was lying on the massage table I was talked into getting a (discounted, but still PRETTY expensive) 2 hour full body massage... It was heaven, at the same time at times so painful I cried, especially as he was working on my feet and legs which tends to cramp up easily because of my short muscles. I could tell he was an experienced proffesional because even though it was painful it was still kind of soothing. I felt GREAT after it. I mean, I payed what is to me a fortune but it was so worth it. I am now super flexible even in my hips that have been bothering me for years, I mean even extensive yoga did not help me this much!
While I was having these wonderful massages and treatments, husband back in Norways was accident prone... He was hiking by himself, I mean just a couple of kilometeres up in the nearby mountain, but he somehow tripped over and had to be collected down by an ambulance. I felt so bad I could not be there for him! But there was little to do... Husband was just feeling tired so not much to say either, and I was coming home in a couple of days anyway. He got time off from work and had friends to help him.
SO was feeling ever so slightly jealous over the fact that most of the people treating me in the spa castle were men. And perhaps a bit envious that I got treatment and not him... So I promised him that next time we will go together and have treatments together. I mean, not the 5 hour kind (but I feel like doing one of those yearly!) but I should be able to afford something, especially if we still can use his contacts to get discounts. In fact, I want to take my husband there too, later. I always felt like spa should be a great couple's thing.
My Turkish is slowly improving. I am soon to finish Turkish level 2 at Babbel.com . If all goes well, I will be taking a proper Turkish class in my home town in 2 months time. I have ordered a Turkish book that should be good, there is a Norwegian woman I know who swears by it because it is less academical. Also, I learn a little here and there. I have a book where I note words I have learned and gramatical stuff I have learned. I listen to everything; songs, people talking. I read posters and newspapers and signs. I get so proud everytime I understand something new...
My last whole day was a miracle; SO got time off from work, and we went for a 7 hour long boat trip! It was such a great day to me, even the things that happened that we did not like were just funny because we had this great thing that we could be together, in the DAYTIME! The sun was shining, the ocen was blue and we found ways to be private even on a big boat full of music and people (and a foam machine!). We sneaked off to sit close to were people were swimming during the 3 stops, we were not really allowed but we did not bother anybody, just sat by oneanother and took the pictures I had been loning to take the whole trip, and previous trips too!
It was just so very nice - or "more than nice", which is our expression for something fantastic and spectacular. We lauged at the woman who thought the ice cream sold on the boat were too expensive. They had no allergy food for me but that was ok (we had snacks with us). The whole day felt like about one hour, time went by so fast. We swam in the clear clean ocean like kids. I hurt my knee getting a stone I wanted and I lauged when he was shocked by the blood (I was raised that it is not proper summer by the sea until you have hurt yourself at least once!). I still can't believe he got a whole day off from work during high season, even if they have to work hard shifts through Ramazan Bayram all of them got a day off before or after this year. It was my SO's best friend who fixed it for all of them, he is like the mini-boss or their "union man" because he has worked there the longest of the seven of them. I am super super greatful we got to have this day together, I felt so close to him and I really felt like in the 22 days we got to spend together we have grown almost husband-and-wife close. Everything is moving super fast with us, really the fastest any relationship I ever had has developed.-43593167433596__213x378-RGB_565-174781655.jpg
Leaving him did not feel so bad this time, I mean I was not crying, but after I left I started to have physical pains and also feeling very tired and also a bit emotionally unstable. It felt very different this time. After 2 days it was very good to Skype with SO again, things were stating to stabalize for the both of us (it usually takes at least 2 days and we usually don't Skype because we both feel like shit), we had had a little phone call the day before but now I got to see him. And our kitten! What happend was that, the cat mother had taken three of her kittens with her and left this one behind. So now SO was holding it, talking about the kitten food he wants to buy etc. and he was just ADORABLE with the cute kitten and it made me long for him so much. At the same time, I know I will be there in about 5 weeks, and then it will not be so much high season anymore, I mean we survived high season and we pushed through our second week of living together as a polyamorous family, and now we even have our own cat
