I find myself thinking lots about the future. I am 34, almost 35. There are dreams that I have that have not been furfilled yet - dreams about work, house, kids. Who knows what the next year might bring!
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This is what has happened since I last wrote:
* LAST VISIT I went on the last visit to SO this year. He came to pick me up at the airport! It was a long time since he was able to do that. The trip was great because he did not have to work a single day! He just studied a little bit, and had exams on my day of departure. I had the luxury of waking with him every morning. We did not leave the flat much, and did not really have any dates, although we visited his workplace once and a local cafe. We walked a lot on or nearby stone beaches, and I found some special stones that I gave him, to make up for all the rare shells he has given me over the last year. He showed me I should not buy clothes in the (tourist oriented) market, but rather in a local clothes shop (I did not even know it was a clothes shop, I get confused by all kinds of shops having suitcase displays in their windows!), I really needed warmer sweaters for Norway as well so I got three of those and a thin one, he got a sweater too. I brought lots of clothes and cosmetics to Norway but I also left lots of my/our stuff behind for him to store. He currently lives with a friend in a small apartment. We did go to the local "culture salon" for a curious theatre play - there was only one time the others laughed and I didn't, so I figure I understood the main points of the play.

* NEW FLAT We had trouble with heating and water in our rented flat - it was hard to warm more than one room at the time, and we only had cold water, so I did things "Norwegian cabin style" with heating water on the stove and mixing it with cold water. We washed each other and it was rather romantic, but very time consuming of course! The problem with our landlord was that they don't own the flat, so even though our relations with the landlord was mainly good, it was hard to get things like we wanted them. Even though we stayed beyond the season, and we payd extra, we did not get a discount and SO had to go for weeks without warm water. We could get new furniture in the flat but the owner insisted we had to pay the full amount at once (a huge sum of money that I used my tax returns to pay last time). The flat was starting to show other signs of wear too, since it was old and not much had been fixed in it. So we went flat-searching for another flat, which we were told we could get for the same price, although it was bigger and more modern, as a discount it we decided to take it now and could pay half the sum in advance (the rest as regular rent). We LOVED the other flat. It doesn't have beautiful orange trees like the other one, but it is close by the other one with a view towards the mountains and in season access to a swimming pool! It is owned by Russians and SOs friend showed it to us, he will be our "landlord". Right now we are organising how to pay the money, and the flat will be ours April-November! It has got 3 balconies and two full bathrooms. We are very much in love with it.

* WORK SCEDULE SO works at the same place, but off season his hours are very different. Most days he finishes work at midnight or one o clock We have been blessed with only one hour time difference and to Skype in the evenings almost every day, but Skyping has been hard to come by lately. It has been ok since I have been busy with Christmas preperations anyway, and also on quiet days I have been able to stay up late, but I worry about our communication over New Year. I guess we will find a way, we usually do. I find I don't worry as much about practical matters anymore, I am used to logistics having a way to work themselves out.

* FUTURE PLANS There is some trouble at SOs work, he is not sure if he can continue to work there next season (or maybe that is just a threat to make SO and others stop asking for a pay raise). Anyway, he has been considering to switch to another workplace, a "breakfast cafe" in the area. It is ok for me, when I come there I can sit and write in a breakfast cafe just as much as in a beach restaurant. Perhaps their work hours will be more similar to mine too, since most days I work daytime (only evenings or weekends if we arrange something special). SO is going to ask a bank for a loan to pay his way out of the 4 1/2 months of military he has left, for that he will have to pay 18.000 TRY (by comparison, our rent for the flat will be about 2.000 TRY a month). He wants to earn more money, since he knows I struggle to pay for our lifestyle, but the main bulk of his money will go do downpayment of the military loan. Thank God his Dentist is done by January! (I might post some pics of him smiling and showing teeth!). He has asked me if I think it will be possible for him to come to Norway to work – and I think that could be possible. He has a Norwegian friend /guest who owns a restaurant in my nearby city (a city known for its good restaurants) and has asked him if he wants to come work there. I think especially with SO finishing his degree in business management (last exam by end of January) that could be a possibility. He also has schooling in becoming a waiter, as well as the work experience. My idea was that he could come here to study and work part time, and then later on coming to work, but I realize now that my plan is just a more complicated route to the same goal. Perhaps it could really happen like that! BUT I am sure that if he wants to work in Norway, he should learn Norwegian. Hopefully he can come here in January with all his exams done, and then I will show him how he can study by himself for Norwegian, he might use Babbel.com as a start and then we will find ways for him to learn the language more thorough.

I get more and more certain that we are all in this together. He used to talk about what HE should do for work, where HE should live and so on, which upset me very much, but lately he has been asking my advice about everything and seems to take for granted that if possible we should do things together and stay together. He says that he never discussed future at all with his German ex, and that the lack of future was the reason they broke up. It seems for some reason he has faith in me.
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* FLAT IN NORWAY Me and my husband are preparing to sell our flat in Norway and buy a bigger one. We have a one bedroom flat now, and we want one with three bedrooms (me and my husband, me and SO, library/possible baby) and two bathrooms. We have talked to the bank and gotten a statement of how much we can borrow. We have talked to a real state lady who thinks she can get lots for our flat (the area has gained a lot of popularity because the municipality built a light rail close by). I have a bit of debt (from my sickness years) that can be almost paid in full by what we will earn by selling the flat. There is SO much to do, but I am looking forward to move, and I think it will be a fresh start for me and my husband. Also it will great because we can accommodate SO when he hopefully comes here. We don't have much time, but I am very motivated. I will gladly sacrifice all my spare time to get it done. When I was sick, I used to dream about moving houses but I knew I had to get a job for us to do it. We are so close now.

* AGE AND HEALTH FOR GETTING PREGNANT My husband says he supports it if I want to start trying to get pregnant by the end of last year. That will be a good start because I will still be only 35, and hopefully my job position will be steady. If our plans work out, then SO can come a couple of months later, so he can be here for the trys and hopefully for my pregnancy and birth. It would be so much harder with him many miles away. My husband is more or less ready for us to be three parents of the child of SO wants to. We have not talked it over with SO yet. I know SO is ambivalent about children of his own. At the same time, he has always been very positive towards the idea of me getting pregnant. I find with SO in other matters he doesn't have an opinion like I do (I wanted a child since I was 14) but it matters much how everything is done. I can't ask SO if he wants a child with me, I have to tell him what I want and then lay it him different options of doing things. This is one big issue that we have to discuss a lot, the three of us. Hopefully we can do that when he comes in January, as well as my husband joining me on some of the visits I will make over the spring, summer and fall.

* TURKISH I am now on Babbel.com- level 4 in Turkish, which is their hardest one so far. I also follow Turkish-classes in my home town and have signed up to continue classes next semester - it is only on A-level (beginner), but if I continue to take classes one semester more we will get like exams and all. I feel somewhat confidant about writing simple Turkish, and I understand quite a bit of Turkish spoken, but in Turkish class we also practice speaking Turkish a lot. It is uncomfortable for me because I am introvert and a perfectionist, but I throw myself out there because I want to be able to speak to my mother in law, and I want to be able to talk to SO in his own language (Turkish. I am leaving his Arabic be for the moment!), and I want to be able to move about independently in his country. Just knowing things like the numbers are very useful, and to talk if someone greets you. It is also useful to know the very intricate, polite ways people sometimes talk (which my Turkish teacher says can lead to misunderstandings, but that I find wonderfully sweet that you can make a rejection sound like a compliment). I sometimes do a little language exposure with SO, as with the visit to the play. I love Turkish humour! We have also developed a habit of watching American movies with Turkish subtexts, which is nice. In time I hope to develop to watching all Turkish movies together, but for the time being I only have the patience for maybe 15 minute shows in all Turkish, since I have to concentrate so much to get it. I think at some point I have to tell my Turkish class I am polyamorous, which could be interesting.

* WORK/STUDIES I worked super hard before Christmas... I am sure my boss was pretty pleased with me. And most days, I enjoy working with her so much. I really believe we can make something good together. We made plans to better our communication from January (we need some organized work meetings, because since I work reception we always risk getting interrupted when we talk and try to plan stuff). I am a little behind with my studies, but I hope to catch up with that after we have moved. With the new flat in Norway as well as the one we hope to rent in Turkey, I am sure I will get lots done. I hope to switch from mostly reading to mostly writing, and use the next year to finalize at least a couple of chapters in my thesis. I still struggle with some health issues, but I am constantly working on those, so I hope to always keep symptoms to a minimum. I have had some shoulder pain over Christmas, will look into that... I am starting to feel so confident about everything related to work, and mostly studies! Which feels great...

By the end of 2015 or beginning of 2016 I want to try on some new work as well, I have been thinking about earning some money doing proofreadings. I even want to start a business with my brother if he can - he has studied linguistics and is very picky on language, so I am sure he would be ideal. I want to start on my own to test the waters, though. Lots of ideas. Want to make money and have fun, too.

* VISA I actually had some mini-trouble with visas travelling early December. First, I almost forgot to apply for one! Which goes to show it was a good idea to not travel by the end of December, because I was tired. Then, in passport control both in and out of Turkey, I was asked why it is that I travel to much to Turkey! The first time, the guy barely spoke English and I faked not understanding and speaking Turkish, ha ha, so he let me be. The second time, the pass control guy commented "You travel to Turkey A LOT?" I just said yes. And told myself, if they think I am smuggling drugs or working in Turkey illegally, it might be a good idea if I will not fly again until February at the earliest!

Second, our Norwegian visa application for him is in. I got proof from the police that I can support him, and that I know him and have visited him (I had to write how we met and add copies of my passport pages). Our plan is to have him here for 3 weeks in January/February. I was honest on the forms, I told the Immigration Office he is my boyfriend and that I am also married to someone else. I am not sure what they will make of it, but at least if we are honest we don't have to remember any stories. I figure that if I had told them he was my friend, they would react to me going there so often and think I was hiding something. We have walked through our stories together, and will again before his interview with the embassy in the beginning of January. Sometimes I am lax, sometimes I am more exited about it. Most days, at least I am hopeful!

I feel 2014 has been OUR year; I had all these wonderful uppertunities to meet him, I met his family, the boys met twice... And I have gotten to know so much about Turkish life and language. It has also been my year to do something different. I have been mostly healthy. I started a new job. I have learned to budget really tough, and to travel internationally alone. I feel so very changed.

I wish you all the best - 2014 için teşekkürler.... 2015 arıyoruz

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