I am not blaming you for how eveything went down, but I wish sometimes you would show more how everything is for you. You are very cute with all your treehouse dreaming, but I wish you would engage with me in some real planning - even if it was about a treehouse.
I remember when I visited you, not the last visit but the one before that, you talked about your desire to build something like hut in the forrest and that we would do it together, like an introvert's dream. I felt so connected to you because you wanted to build something solid that was just us, and close to to where I have been with the most, just a short bike ride away, secluded but close. I got the same feeling as when we borrowed the tree hut of the hotel where we stayed right before we started renting, that to watch the stars with you is something magical. Like we are endless possabilities.
I know life is life and there is Mondays and laundry and money issues, I am not saying let's not take care of that. But I need that other stuff too. I need you to love me and show it. I need you to say that everything will be ok, that I am welcome and that your mum will make barbeque and wine leaf rolls, and we will hang out with your brother and his fiance. And who knows, perhaps I will get a techical divorce, if that is what it takes for us to be together. Will that make you happy? I want us to laugh and pick oranges and for you to show me the church ruins and that other garden we did not seelast. I want to meet more of your relatives and speak Turkish (or try to). And sing....I want us to sing
And been a bit like that here too, though been telling him and he seems to understand how i felt and trying to give out more in bits. I wish you good luck