I forgot to make a post about my last trip; I almost did not make it happen, but in late March I DID go to visit him and his family in the small town close to the Turkish border. I almost did not tell anyone I was going, because, you know, of the warnings. I was not in any sort of danger, but according to my country's authorities I should have reported to them going there. We were 90 kilometres from the Syrian borders. So was telling me, when we were out sightseeing...behind that mountain is Syria, behind that mountain too.

I have met many of his family members coming to visit ut when we rented in his work town, but because of the moving (and SO coming) last year, I did not have the time/money/window to go see his mum. I know I had a lot of catching up to do, and was rather nervous. His family drinks, so I brought som alcohol, which they enjoyed, I also brought some fresh salmon and some raindeer meat (which SO turned into Turkish dishes using chili and other spices). It was funny getting drunk with him, his counsins, his brother and the brother's fiance (she lives with the family now) and even his grandmum! I watched funny cat videos and Turkish soap operas and tractor race shows with his mum, made the dishes correctly (SO came to check up on me!), laughed along with all of them to the Guldur Guldur show (I seem to get most of the jokes), went to the very old church and took a very romantic picture of us there, went to a historical museum and learned about history, went to a famous restaurant that turned out to be very windy (and I was impressed by the veilved women there that were very stylish, and even a fancyily veiled bride insde the restaurant), visited the mountain with a statue of Mary (with a Turkish girl in high heals, of course. I had hiking shoes on), went to a restaurant and was soothed by the fact that they played the Turkish songs I know (and his friend wanted to talk about viking poetry with me! He is an archeologist), visited ruins and took cool pics, made SO NOT translate most of the time because I prefer getting half of the meaning to getting most with a translation but not getting the flow if which it is spoken. I also like to just listen to people speak, even if I sometimes got tired. I noticed that when I was tired, I could not understand Turkish that well. And it is hard to not get tired when new things happen all the time!

I of course dissapointed the family because of my 1) nervous speaking 2) lack of spontanious grammar and vocab. It is really much esasier just listening to what people say and nod, or say something simple like like "Hayir, tessekkurler" (no, thank you) or "Bilmiyorum" (I dont know/have no idea, the mi-part is the negative) or "Yorgunum (I am tired - present tense is so rewarding!). I actually cried one time because they made fun of me talking, I was exhausted trying to be the perfect daughter in law and sister in law.... and not being fussy and obliging to their rules (no staying in the bathroom together). But they are not unkind, they did not mean to upset me and were sad that I cried...Rude jokes like that is part of their way of not testing me, but telling me that think I can take a pounding, like the rest of them. I was telling SO, learning language is hard enough without being made fun of when I try, would you like it if I made fun of your Norwegian? I really needed SO to stand up for me, and he did. We had a real talk on how to do things. His family still talks not just fast Turkish, but Arabic in front of me - but they do that in the presence of SO's brother's girlfriend too, and I figured that if she can stand it, so can I (she does't understand any Arabic because she is not from there. In SOs town most people are bilingual). I see where SO gets it from, sometimes his jokes are over the top and hurtful, but that is the "tone". It is just hard when it is about language and I am really doing the best I can, especially since SO always works on my visits in season and has very limited time to help me learn Turkish. I guess they will always think I speak funny, but the most important thing for me is that SO knows I am trying

Most of my stay is just nice memories.... His family building a second and third storage on the house.. which will be the couple's own floor when they marry. Such nice views from the rooftop, and SO and I layed in the hammock put up there. We strolled around in the town, saw their second garden (olive garden, which they grow olives to eat and make oil from) . We visited the local restaurant, that doesnt have menues because "everyone knows what they serve" which has a nice view in the daytime and where SO and I lay plans for our future. In the evening it was a local hangout and we sat with a couple that had recently married/were about to marry (I dont really get the hang of the "two marriages"-tradition, but they had done the first one). I met so many of his counsins my head started to spin. His aunt did my hair for free (cutting and making me new stripes, making me look "Turkish good") and she reffered to me as the bride. I could hear her chatting away to the coworkers and custumers; "I wonder when this guy is going to get married...at least he dated her so long, she comes from abroad all the way to here...She is very pretty, she will make a nice bride" - stuff like that. We went for walks, listening to the frogs. SO confessed to me he doesnt plan to come back to live in his home town (unless his older brother, who is soon returning from compulsory teacher practice), I said it suited me fine as enjoy visiting his home town, but doesnt really see myself living there permanently ever (the neighbouring city has a university and all, but it has a very, for a lack of better word, rural feel). I said that if we buy a house in his work town, his family can come visit there and they will excuse us for not living with them! He agreed that that is a nice plan. I made Norwegian cupcake which they enjoyed and said it tasted very fresh. All the delicious food his mum and grandmum were making. Sitting many times with the family by their huge stove, in the sofa or on the carpet (they sit on the carpet a lot), getting cozy warm - really like you are one body just sitting there getting warmed to the core. And SO noticed I was enjoying myself and them enjoying me being there - one time he oddly, but charmingly, said out loud (in English) "She is SUCH a nice girl", like I was his favourite dog, looking at me with this warmth in his eyes.