We are staying in a hotel next door to the hotel where we stayed on our first two night together. Which is close by to where he used to live a few years ago, but he is also like "look, there is where I poured you wine..." We can see the hotel ground from here and also actually the room from our window. It is a small and cosy hotell not far from the main street (so easy bicycly distance to his job and everything else), with a friendly host and of course its own cat and dog. They also have their own small swimming pool! I have been swimming here every day. When we rented a flat I used to dream about swimming pools (which is a thing because of the heat). I love beaches but you have to get organized. As my main thing is to apply for jobs through my computer, I think compound and pool life is ideal. I already applied for 2 jobs, but I also found time to visit friends here and do some small shopping.
SO has learned a lot more Norwegian since I was here last time! He used to be able to say words and simple phrazes in my language, but now he can use whole sentences, and there are many of them, and ask me questions that he half understands the answer to! Someone is secretly studying...
I finally feel like we are on the same page with the language thing and I also feel encouraged to learn better Turkish. I notice too that when I am here, I dont feel the "buzz" that I used to when I half way lived here; of understanding little or only small snippets. Now, the language to me is often many sentences I understand, and even with those I dont understand I get if they use negations, talk about something in plural, or the past tense etc. I like to watch movies in Turkish and I listen almost only to Turkish music.
It has been our 2nd visit since the demise of the poly relationship, and so far I think we are doing pretty well. SO was a bit upset that L left; in part because he misses him (everyone misses him a bit, he is a bit crazy these days) and in part because he with his big heart felt guilty about something he might have done. I try in the best way I can to tell him that we were three responisible people and that we could not fix things he did not tell us.
And we are going to have "the future talk", I just dont know when... I dont want to have it when we are tired, hungry, joking around or getting intimate and we barely have such time because he works a double shift (12-16, with a 2 hour "siesta" break, and 18-12/01), every day including Sunday.
The big questions are:
- am I finalizing the divorce? (yes. While I did not want the relationship to end, I am not waiting to see if it can be retrieved)
- are we getting married? (I hope so. I want to!)
- are we having kids? (I am back on bc. It is also a question of money/jobs)
- where will we live? (I am open to Turkey as I love the country, but I think money wise my country makes more sense)