Christmas has been difficult. I was sick the week before Christmas. I was lying in bed and constantly feeling cold because of the fever. Then my mum arrived and the day after her my boyfriend. We did some sight seeing together and then my boyfriend got sick with fever and basically the same shit I had.
We both deal with illness very differently. I'm the "tough up. It'll go away if you don't think about it!"-type, while my boyfriend sees a doctober about even the smallest things and "suffers". Which most of the time I have no patience for.
It was good to spend time with my mum. I don't get to see her nearly enough because of the distance and life. She's a wonderful person and I'm so glad she has recently sorted some things out in her life and things are going really good for her. Looks like 2013 is going to be a fantastic year for her.
With me and my boyfriend it's difficult. He's obviously not happy where he is right now. Living alone (he does have flatmate, but they don't really talk) is hard for him as is being abroad and working tedious physical labour job.
Now I don't know if I'm alone in this, but my approach to life in general is "if it's too bad to bear, change your situation - if you can't change your situation or it's not bad enough, change your attitude". Complaining and whining hasn't ever gotten anyone anywhere. It's hard for me to deal with it, because it's so different from my personality.
He also doesn't know what to do after this semester. He has the language exam in February. If he passes, he can start university in Germany. But his programme only starts in the fall semester, so he'd have to wait half a year anyway. If he doesn't pass, he can either try to retake the exam somewhere else, pass another language exam (there are different ones that allow you to study in Germany) or give up on that and go to uni here. He already signed up for it, so he can start in February just in case.
I know that this sounds stupid, but... we were going to get engaged this year. We talked about it during the visit and he finally confessed that he doesn't feel ready to take such an important step at the moment. I know it's silly. We're both still quite young and we haven't been together for that long. He hasn't ever flaked out or been not committed before. It's ok. And it's really not about the engagement. While I'm looking forward to having a (wedding) party with our friends and family there, getting married isn't actually all that important to me. The actual wedding-thing, especially the religious aspect is more (only) important to him actually.
It's just that... I feel like there's some sort of maturity divide between us. He's only a year younger than me on paper and it has never bothered me (after the initial shock of meeting someone who was born the same year my little brother was
) but... while I've been out and about and pretty independent from my parents from the age of 19, he still isn't at 23. It's the first time now that he's living alone and earning some of his own money.I already wrote all about the moving in together problem in a thread and I don't feel like typing it out again, but it's not sorted out yet.