I drafted this blog entry and it was about other stuff but then I realised what's making me nervous:
My boyfriend's coming back on Sunday! That's the day after tomorrow. We're closing the distance and if everything goes according to plan, we'll stay close distance this time.
I'm nervous, though. I'm nervous he won't like the place I picked. He was so fussy and super critical about things when I flat hunted. It really pissed me of and I told him to stfu and that I do what I can and think is right. If he has a problem he can go and look at places himself. He understood and stopped being an ass.
But I'm still nervous that he won't like it. The place is not exactly luxurious. It's functional and it's cheap enough for me to afford it on my own if I have to, and I made the best of it, so that it turned out quite cozy, but it's not super nice or anything.
Part of me thinks "Eff that. I PAY for the place. If someone paid my rent, I'd kiss their feet rather than complain about shit." I'm also still sort of worried about the issues we had with moving in together. I'm probably stressing about nothing, but it's on my mind. I don't know if he realises just how bad it was for me. How much he hurt me. It's definitely something I learnt from my mum and it's not necessarily a good thing, but I don't forgive easily. (My mum still mentions the jeans her sister stole her in like 1980!).
Our last visit was fine. Although I did throw a bit of a fit about the state of the apartment and him saying he couldn't live with me because of my messiness (I'm sory, but the place was disgusting. It never looked like that when I lived there!). *sigh* I'm sure it'll get better with time. Thinking about it more won't make it better.
I found out today, that I won't be eligible for my social scholarship/grant in July. The semester here ends in June and at my home university the new semester doesn't start until October. They pay you up to two months before the semester starts, which would be September and August and still leave July. I do have enough savings to get by for one month, but we're also moving in September and I'll need money then.
I'm sort of toying with the idea of applying for a scholarship for a Ukrainian culture and language summer school. I need to ask my prof for a reference letter, though (and I can't do that before I don't get my work done. Here's motivation!). It'd be in July/August and they'd pay me enough to at least cover accomodation, food and participation fees.
I could also try to get a not so bad paying full time position. Which is pretty difficult in Poland. I actually have a job interview on Monday for a job that would start in April. It's a customer care/call center-deal, so nothing fancy and I don't know if I want to work there. I'll see how much they pay and if the hours fit with my class schedule and then decide whether it's worth it. The problem is that €2.50-3.00/h is considered appropriate here
I'm not a snob at all, but I'd rather have to use some of my savings and try to get an internship (probably unpaid) than work a shit job for less than €6. And that's the absolute, absolute minimum - I've never worked for that little. The job I'm interviewing for on Monday is actually in the same building as the company my boyfriend hopes to get a job with
It would be pretty funny if we ended up working in the same building. It also makes this city seem smaller than it is. I swear there are other office buildings
If the employer wants to pay even you less, he gives you a contract for 'specific work', so contract wise he pays you for your work results and effectively he can pay you less per hour.
General living costs in Poland are a bit cheaper than in western Europe, but not as much as the wages are lower. It *is* insane.
Which is why there's so many Poles basically EVERYWHERE in the world. If you can earn more working at McD's abroad than in a skilled job in your field at home, then moving is the obvious option.
Anyways...
Don't be too worried about your apartment. My SO had to pick out our apartment by himself when we moved back to CR and he was worrying himself sick that I wouldn't like it. He even went out of his way to go buy some "American" things that he knew I would like and put them around the house to make sure I liked the place. I'm sure your SO will be happy to just be with you. Plus if he hates the place you guys can move when the contract is up! (We did!)
10 hours until he should be here. Maybe more, because they were supposed to leave at 9am, but it turned out to be 11am.