I'm starting this with a confession:
I always thought people, who let other people (read: parents!) invite people to their wedding, were kinda weak and should stand up for themselves more.

Now I'm in exactly the same situation and it makes me furious (like crying because I'm so angry-furious) that I can't do anything about it.
Where do I start with what's going on?
We were going to invite our parents, my brother+girlfriend and Olek's best friend+wife. Then I decided to invite my grandparents as well, because I don't know if they'll be able to make it to our party in Poland in a few years. Olek wasn't so pleased at first, but he ultimately understood and agreed.
When we told his dad about our plans and invited him, he asked if we were inviting his brother (M). We initally weren't going to, but M takes semi-professional photos, I like his girlfriend and seeing as Olek's grandparents aren't in good enough health to travel, it would be nice to invite someone else from his family. So we decided to invite him as well.
We agreed that that would be it. We have an even number of guests from each family (well, minus one for me, because my mum's going to be there without her husband).
Sounds good, doesn't it? I thought so, too until last night.
Olek's mum insisted that if we invite M who's Olek's godfather, we need to invite J. (her brother's wife), who's his godmother. I hardly know J. we don't see her regularly and if I do see her, I hardly talk to her.
She had been hinting about it before, but Olek was over at their place last night (he had a minor surgery and went to his parents' afterwards) she insisted on us inviting them.
Olek told me about it over text (I was at our place) and apparently they agreed that we'd write her an invitation, his mum would give it to J and let her know she doesn't really need to come. Or something to that effect. Alternatively we could de-invite M, or at the very least invite only M (as a photographer) without his girlfriend. I can't even descripe how angry I was. Olek was like "Let's do it. They don't have the money to come anyway. Besides mum did so much for us, we can do this for her." There's so much wrong with that. Yes, she did help us. But she did it because she wanted to. I don't want help if it comes with later obligations. I've made that known more than once. If I owe you something in return, it wasn't help in the first place.
Plus how do you invite someone while at the same time letting them know, they shouldn't come? That might work if you invite 100 people, but if you invite only immediate family, then that doesn't make sense. They would probably even feel bad if they couldn't afford to come. How's that not worse?
Anyway, I was totally against it and I made Olek write the invitation and said I wasn't even going to sign it and he should write "I invite" and "I'm looking forward" instead of "we" (he didn't do that, though).
So I went over there later that night and his mum was angry but tried to be friendly towards me. Later Olek gave her the invitation and she was like "No, I don't want it anymore, if I have to make you do it."
Do you want to bang your head against a wall already? Because I have a really strong urge to do that.

When we got home Olek told me that it wasn't really about J so much anyway. His mum feels that her family is discriminated against, because we're inviting only people from Olek's dad's family, she doesn't like M's girlfriend and she doesn't feel good around the grandparents. I understand all of that. I'm sure I mentioned it about 73035912 times before, but Olek's parents aren't... well... they're still living together, but his dad has a girlfriend and his mum has (had? who knows) a boyfriend. Almost everyone knows about it. Except for the grandparents. They're not supposed to find out, because... well.. who knows why. I don't think they'd die of a heart attack. M is divorced and they don't seem to have much of a problem with that.
Olek's parents need to do something about their situation and (without going into details) it's obvious that his dad is using his mum's good heart/inability to stand up for herself. But you know what? It's their freaking problem!
We're not getting married to fix other people's problems.
Sometimes you have to do things that make you happy, even if they make other people not like you anymore.
It doesn't help that now his mum is playing offended. We were going to do something together on Saturday, go to the zoo or some place, but now she apparently prefers to be offended and on her own instead. (How are these people even adults?!)

Olek is understandably upset about the whole thing. He was looking forward to our wedding and he doesn't want anyone showing up with a sour face. I understand him and I really don't like what this has come to, but it really shouldn't be our problem.

Did I bore you a lot? I'm sorry, I needed to vent somewhere.
I re-dedcided on the hat and the dress and I'm going to post pictures later this weekend or next week.